classified details of my life

moving :O

2008-06-01T05:56:00.000-07:00

last post here (for now).
http://chinleestee.livejournal.com/
xx

tagged by cheryl, farrah, dione & weichen (i think).
tks ya'll for helping me curb my boredom :B

Instructions:Remove one question from above and add in your personal question.
Make a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people.
List them out at the end of the post.
Notify them in their cbox that they've been tagged.
Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all :D

what instructions?

1. What’s your ambition?-- i've had 10++ ambitions and counting.

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boyfriend?-- boyfriend's also a friend too right? but currently friends cause 'bf' is NA.

3. Who is the person you trust most?-- ermmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm MYSELF! :D

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?-- depends on what situation? idk

5. Who is your idol?-- Myself, duh.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?-- yupp. ain't tt a natural phenomenon?

7. What is your goal for this year?-- get decent results & netball skills to make the cut for bdiv09

8. Do you believe in eternity love?-- one's life span can't match up to eternity.

9. Have you broken someone’s heart that she/he tried to commit suicide?-- hell NOOOOO omfg

10. What feeling do you love most?-- The feeling of doing better than expected :D

11. What are the requirements you wish from the other half?-- eee scam, half only? i don't want.
okay, serious stuffs:
humour. sports-inclined. ability to understand & tolerate my peculiar outlook of life. someone who really cares. like really, really. LOL someone who is trustworthy. let's be straightforward,
LOOKS ARE IMPT. VERY IMPT.
why, tt sounds like me?!?!? jkjk.

12. Favourite hobby?-- not fave but fav.s! shopping, netball, flaming, etc.

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?-- yeahhhhhhhhh.

14. Do you like S.H.E?-- lol. no link Q.

15. Do you think you had a nice haircut?-- erm so so. nth bombastic, just got it thin-ened.

16. Do you love anime?-- HAHAHAHAH NO.

17. Describe the person who tagged you in 5 words.-- (i'm ignoring the word count)
cheryl: octopus face! bio imbaaa! HATES HISTORY like zxsdwegsrtg124701834238095394!
farrah: kiasu(lol)! emo! WHITE! glow in the dark! stomach-ache champion!
dione: omggg so long since we talked (other than dione! lol) still cute as ever!
weichen: my son lol. ZILIAN. head's got a generous circumference. stomach's nv full!

18. What have you done to please yourself?-- lol please~ hahaha. erm alot. lol

19. IF you had one wish right now, what would you wish for to come true?-- $M.O.N.E.Y$ pilling up in my house :B

20. What do you want most for your birthday?-- my entire wishlist to come true. HAHA

Do this quiz and get truckloads of blessings! (or get bored to death)

haha i tag no one, do if want/are rotting at home/bored of dota (impossible!), etc.

tag replies

2008-05-29T08:18:00.002-07:00

ps. super lag.

'farrah: HAHA. really? bobian. yeah luh, just like every pe lesson. -.-

'handsome: yo son. wad wad wad hahahaha.

'victoria: yo. lols.

'haras: hey tks (: haha i'm honoured, lol.

'dione: lol. hahahaha tks tks :D

'claudia: pls man, you're the eccentric one. heh

'mengx: hello. tks yo.

'nicole: haha cool. alright.

'danish: hey (: haha sure.

'christabel: hahaha okayyy. of course i know who you are. lol

longgg post

2008-05-29T06:54:00.000-07:00

yo.

i've not been posting.

duh.

okay, so i'm gonna squeeze 5 days in oneee post.
(why am i typing in choppy sentences?
well, idk too.
so let's move on.)

i'll start fr friday:
last day of sch was quite fun.
slack. talk. rubiks showdown. movie screenings.
actually, the first 3 are common routines observed at my area,
almost everyday.
okay, everyday.

movies were good.
HAHA yy's jessica alba.

however, the day ended with a foul note for me.
i screwed trng, really badly.
partly was the amt of nagging we got for openhouse prep.
like chill? not like the world's gonna end if a booth is to be set up the nxt day.
or your reputation'd be tarnished just cause "the netball booth is EMPTY".
maybe ppl do visit at 7am O:
then, we do apologise for the late work.

so clau & i returned to trng aft being super efficient.
we made it rather presentable right fr scratch
(with ppl sitting on the empty table -.-) ,
in 15mins or less.

felt really restless during trng
but sucked during down the court.
shooting was off & my play was awkward.
& aft trng i actually broke down. tsk.
but tks to twin (:
& hanni
& cynthia for walking towards me unglamly to comfort me,
& clau for walking to me with high socks which was even more unglam.
HAHA. & evaaaaaaaa too :D

sat:
the oh so impt open house.
everyone seemed stressed out by it, esp chers.
pimped the booth slightly more with netballers
& mended the pe booth too.
the balance thing was cool
& shot a lil.
we moved the pole thrice(?),
guess nobody can really accept our poor ostracized pole.

rach & i took the opportunity to play horse.
LOL, like aft a reaaaaally longgg time. (:
then we got told off & stuffs.
hecked & got kped agn.
so guess nobody bothered & returned to our dull lives at rvopenhouse.

went home aft finishing routine shooting.

mon:
weights only.
ms loo was sick & it rained.
haha everyone amchio,
for diff reasons.

shot aft tt & went to vivo.
seperated fr other netballers & went to pastamania with hanni & tudi.
then went arnd shopping.
confirmed my bag serial no.
& i'm gonna get tt funky hair orhlang too. HAHAHA
but i thought it was too ex.

returned to sch for psb gm.
ms mar's last day ):
think we've gotta keep faith & buck up
before everything crumbles to remnants.
(esp with someone else ic.)
watched vids, listened to speeches, ate cake.

tues:
no trng, so got my haircut & went shopping.
showed my mom the emo shit & funky hair orhlang.
although the emo shit was $4 cheaper than the f.h.o,
my mom was strongly agnst the idea of buying tt shit.

"wads tt? looks like..."
"haha, its shit!"
"yeah luh, looks like shit."
"i shall choose it over the funky hair guy"
"HUH? NOOOOO. don't buy shit."
"hahaha its cute & i always say shitzxc."
"how much's both?"
"erm shit 3.95, other's 7.90, SEE cheeeeaper!"
"NONONO, i'll buy tt hairy guy for you instead."
"orh okay, anything."
HAHAHA am i good or what?

wed:
hiong trng cause ms loo's back.
weights & court & shot aft tt.
but it rained halfway so i got a 94% lols.
super scam.

i learnt a valuable & painful lesson too.
i'll keep my wallet close to heart fr then on.
(no, i didn't lose $$, cards, keys, or pics for my case)
lol. OMG, totally murders my social status HAHAHA

thurs (today!):
hiong trng agn!
agility work first in the hall.
perspired like hell & developed this abnormal stitch thingy.
had it throughout court trng & shooting sucked during down the court.
luckily last two shots got in.
satisfied lol.

slacked awhile,
watched hiong ppl play tennis.
warmed up for shooting, with horse, with rach.
then started to rain,
so hanni, tudi & i headed for the hall.
illegal gathering with all the fans blowing at us lol.
we make good use of the sch's property,
if not for us,
they'd be blowing, nothing actually.
was kinda serene & tranquil while we talked abt random stuffs.
home aft tt.

3 weeks to enl.
5 trngs to brush up on shooting before enl.

still rmb last yr's x (:

2008-05-20T08:12:00.001-07:00

~~COUNTRY~~
tmrrw

innocent eyes packing hardcore sting

2008-05-19T02:03:00.000-07:00

yo.

shall leave solcitude & ire outta my post today...
till the end of the post. lol

on sat:
nsl (FINALS) cip.
started off vip duty with hoching.
we thought it was ushering or smth along tt line.
but no,
it was spotting for the vips' cars. -.-

it was a v pressurizing & painstaking job.
cause
a) i didn't wear my specs
b) we were given this long list of vips & vvips,
who have diff reserved parking lots.
c) we were given a long list of confusing car plate no.s
d) there were cars coming in from every direction
e) if we were slow, other guys would be scolded & we'd get kped.

then finally we got to enter the hall.
watched the match
with the mcfc being the usual mcfc.
& yayee susan sidhu is awesome (:

played aft tt, as usual.
then waited for parents outside with hanni,
but she accompanied me for awhile more aft her mom came.
then we talked abt stuffs
which were the main worries clogging our brains these days.

yesterday:
did cip for shaowei's concert.
was quite tiring since we walked arnd to promote it.
i think JP is spammed with 'my-new-love' kinda ppl.
LOL, but tt didn't make me v excited.

hmm weirdest encounter of charity work ever.
ppl actually don't want to take the FOC postcards?
i guess the standard of living is too high these days
where ppl despise free postcards.
but tt ain't the reason!
cause they didn't like our $10 voucher thingy too.
makes you think eh?

i've heard of ppl collecting postcards,
or those who take free stuff for fun & dump them later on
or those who take free stuffs for the fact tt they are free.
BUT no such luck at JP yest.
"intro speech to promote change"
"er..."
"take a look at it, its free!"
"erm?" *gives wtf, 'you look like mas selemat with paris hilton hair' look*
"OHHH i'm sooo sorry, i've got my highly toxic epithelial cells all over it!"
-.- above is just chimerical, i'm such a charitable person pls.

managed to sell 2 vouchers aft like abt 3 hrs or so.
better than nth,
so lx & i went to 'celebrate' by having icecream.
we got kinda drunk aft the rum & raisin.
correction: concentrated rum & raisin ice cream.
so we, the junkies, staggered back upstairs to the stage.
we swayed side to side, with our vision twirling.

then we decided to have KFC aft checking out.
indeed, kfc managed to neutralize the spirituous effect on us.
then we lagged and talked all the way to the mrt station
& continued till je.
then we parted & home aftwards.

this is the end of the post,
which means yes,
the blood pressure rising section.

you face the world with those innocent eyes of yours
but nobody realises
tt all they pack is vemonous sting.
you preach the same tales over &
over again
as if to gain sympathy to redeem your position
while painting
me as the heartbreaker,
the stonehearted one,
the bitch.
but guess what?
frame all you want, shower yourself with as much pity as you want. i'll nv submit to your self-absorbed ways ever agn.
there's nth you can do to salvage the hatred i contain now. all you can do is to accept the facts, quit bugging me & other ppl stfu & fk off.
& i thought i didn't have to resort to these ways.

screw off

2008-05-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT'S ONE-SIDED?

i'm furious beyond words
and i'm losing it.

if you really cared,
why would you ignore how i feel
& continue with all tt fk?

yes,
now i realise how much i hate you.

ps. you realised NOTHING.

short post

2008-05-14T08:21:00.000-07:00

yo.

i'm happy.
lol

i fking didn't fail chem! LOL
& i thought i'd fail it the worst
cause i gave up half way through of mcq!
hahahahahah.
wonderful.

so yes, i'm elated.
thus i was swearing with a big grin lol.

okay, chi was -.-
kp luh mark wrongly, dropped a whole grade.
& we all know its impossible to beg for marks.
so why bother right?
the most "oh srry, another Q. marked wrongly."
& i'll just draw a huge Q. mark on top of 'HCL' (on the cover pg)

so aft my misfortunate streak of disgusting grades,
the papers do justice to me.
i really hope i ain't the one who failed bio in our combined class,
i mean it'd totally backfire my lighthearted-ness aft the bio paper.

tmrrw is gonna be a longgg day.
sequence of this week's hiongness.
yest: weights, hiong trng, 11 consecutive suicides.
today: 2km for pe (quite hiong).
tmrrw: 6km(?) at 6.30am, heart attack fr bio (?), trng in the aftnoon.

y'know i see loads of "when you lose faith, bla bla bla..."
well for me,
when you lose faith in yourself,
HIONG PRAY.

sucks big time

2008-05-12T07:50:00.000-07:00

today marks one of the most emotional days in sch.
i guess.

distracted by loads of stuffs,
which sucks cause you feel like everything is linked to
wtvr tt is on your mind.
& i guess i made my slacking grp v sian diao too.

back to original seating arrangement,
glad cause they're really fun ppl (:
but pikachu didn't come today!
slacking grp's incomplete.
but still, tks for making me forget & just laugh.

classes sucked,
i really have no other vocab for it.

aft sch played bball,
guess lost the drive for bball?
like it has decreased its entertainment val. rdy.
then went for maths statistics talk with a pack of ice lol.

sat at the corner in the back row (furthest back)
with twin and others.
felt a flux of emotions while listening to the talk.
loads going through my mind & they collide.
bet i looked damn unglam,
luckily was in one of the most secluded areas.
but yay twin (:

bball agn aft tt.
totally off focused so i stopped half way.
srry ppl.
i can't take it rdy.

then bball with qiaowei & dixun was much better.
felt better & laughed quite abit too.
going home was quite uneasy.

realised tt it was not all a competition,
there is concern, sensitivity & sympathy present.
tt's good to realise (:

i feel like i've lost alot of feelings for this (big) grp?
like i used to care?
now its like everything's torn apart?
everything's here and there
& i've resorted to hate even.
is this what we shld become of?
suspicion, disappointment, feeling offended/pissed/worried.

feel like crap

2008-05-11T07:12:00.000-07:00

WTF DID I DO TO DESERVE ALL THESE?

every time i get the courage and words to make myself clear,
there has to be something tt pops up from you
which makes me feel tt it ain't the right time.

every single time i'd force myself to accept
"okay, you're just having a bad day, you'll not think like this tmrrw."
& i live with it for a long time,
& this sort of screwed shitzxc surface agn & agn.

i really can't stand it anymore.
& now something comes by the corner agn.
my eyes hurt & i just want to throw myself agnst a wall right now.

are you the one driving me up the wall?
or am i the one forcing myself to my breaking point?

(screwed blogger time)

goodbye

2008-05-09T01:00:00.000-07:00

omfg,

like MYE's finally over.
i've been waiting for this day since...
forever.

but rah the 扫兴, has to say tt there's still
term 3, EOY, Y4, Y5, Y6, uni, etc.
-.-
& you dumbass still dare to emo over maths,
with your eyes closed, you can still own me upside down & inside out luh.
if you ever do tt agn,
i'm gonna del mgf's pic fr your alrdy faulty memocard! HAHA jk

anw, i don't feel tt relieved aft exams.
in fact, i feel worst.

all's been gone to waste.
might as well just bid ENL & bdiv farewell.
guess i'm stupid, tt's all.
its standardized, everyone shld get it
& everyone can except for me.
i've done everything possible to get it,
but i still can't.

we had a run aft SS & maths paper 2 today.
abt 5km.
everyone did well (considering the long offseason & exams period).

aft the run had stretching, debrief (sucked), then chilled & went to shoot.
ethel accompanied me.
HAHA heart to heart talks.
we're the drive-in ppl (:

on a much brighter note,
i'm looking forward to mon!
cause i'll return to my norm routine of crapping & laughing
with the back slackers :D
namely, my gf (lol), pickachu & 180man.

& tks loads tudi for agreeing to warm up with me for trials tmrrw!
omgomgomg so early & on. lol
*style hand shake*

go away, take it with you

2008-04-25T23:57:00.000-07:00

" it accounts for 5%."
"HUH? omffffffffgggggg"
"for each sci."
"WTF? wtf wtf."
"for the whole year."
"nb, fail sciences rdy luh."
LOL,
but precisely the case.

oh yes,
i realised tt i'm coming to the habit of blogging only once a week.
i say it like its my fault. HAHA.
kay jkjk.

think i've been sleeping (as in really fall asleep, not go to bed)
at 1am, which is supposed to be counted as normal.
but i can't seem to keep wide awake for all lessons.
damn.

today's an exceptionally disturbing day for me.
like everybody thinks i'm emo or smth.
"woah i can't stand you! you're soooooo emo today."
"wad emo?"
"just not like yourself luh."
-.- look fr me.
"SEE LUH! how many times have you daoed me today?"
"haha. idk."
"is it like pms?"
"nooooo, pms is like moodswing & pissed off."
"ohhhh.......... anw, you're still emo."
"what do you want me to say?
OH NO NO I'M LIKE FEELING GREAT TODAY!"
"hahahahahaha kk fine fine."

i too agree tt i might have looked emo today.
its just a sudden pang of depression?
like i felt disheartened by several things,
& smth got choked up in my oesophagus. lol
plus, i had a runny nose.

BIO was the bomb.
dunno why we can come up with so much crap.
once we laugh its like embarrassing,
since we're loud and its an enclosed aircon rm
with attentive pupils. lol

bio make up lessons was hilarious.
towards the end, we laughed fr
lam peng kwan to the crazy shitting woman.

tt 5% is a gonner.
okay, i'm a gonner.
like during ICAS,
i felt damn warm & i felt like standing up for ventilation.
aft tt i head a headache & i decided i would give up
tt disgusting 5%(ok, 10%) as my migrane grew with the heat.
in other words, (word), SCREWED.

we both know its incurable,
but you show no effort to try to salvage the prob.
maybe tt's why you're still avoiding
& i'm still disregarding your presence.

zzz

2008-04-18T23:23:00.000-07:00

yo.

i'm like dead tired.
this week has passed damn fast,
but nevertheless,
a superbly tiring week.
lack of sleep
= drousiness in sch
= emo look
= "omg! why you so emo?!?!"
= zibi glutton
= hard to absorb anything
= oh no!

-.- okay, you get the point,
just totally hit by fatigue.

actually had some interesting things to touch on,
like flaming. lol
but was so worn out tt the flame went out too.

every fri i feel a contradictory of emotions.
one, "omg finally, i can sleep early and wake up late!"
two, "aww man, wun get to kp with schmates tmrrw..."
hmm its like schooling is a mere routine
& the only motivation you get to go on is your friends.
(for me at least)
cause you know your friends
are going through all these shitzxc with you.
& they make the worst situations desirable
(cause of all the gl & crapping).
:DDD

BUT i'm not complaining abt the opportunity to get some sleep back.
zzz,
no life, srsly no life.

trng is finally not slack today.
played with the NZders on 'exchange prog'.
was enjoyable with rach as co-shooter. lol
stunt stunt.
HAHA & of course cool with rae too (:

then guess ms loo was really pissed with our play overall
& we had hiong trng aft tt.
hmm but was okay,
first time sprint with 'full spd'
cause enough dist to do so.
for the imba far passes,
i reckon my arm would just drop off tmrrw.
all in all, hiong but good.

i feel like an idiot, hanging on.
i wonder if you even know who i am.

kindness shiatzxc

2008-04-11T23:39:00.000-07:00

lack kindness
or
just too worn out?

change back to your old specs yo

2008-04-08T23:24:00.000-07:00

yo.

bio made me looney today.
bio test was the first period.
zomg, so last min mugging made lx & i siao.
we were like giving our own lecture. lol
& i laughed at smth totally unfunny,
till it seemed funny.
gawd.

& with all these,
ignoring the fact tt i woke up saying ____,
you can just tell i'm 110% crazy rdy.

okay so think main point today is
mosquito-slide-off-face guy.
HAHA omgomg,
think i'm going for pe in high pants tmrrw.
kay maybe not so gl,
but i'll imitate tt staggering figure & weak smile.

STOP USING PPL SUCKER.
SO WAD IF YOUR HAIR IS FLAME-LIKE,
I'LL STILL FLAME IT/YOU.

adaptation

2008-04-04T23:56:00.000-07:00

yo.

today was a song day.
slack lessons, cause of chers going on course.

spent most of the free time talking,
laughing and learning to cube fr lx.
haha tks for being so patient man. :D

everyone was prepared for SS.
haha, was a ~~knowledge~~ filling lesson.

had friendly with a gold coast team aft sch.
before tt went to shoot with lx.
HAHA above all ~
anw, gathered for team talk aft tt.
then we crank-ed dat (soulja boy) LOL
but its fun & cooliozxc. haha

then mass warm up with sec 2s,
but insufficient time to do drills.
hmm :/

the gold coast players are really friendly and TALL.
& they're only 14 & 15. zomg.
when they came ,we were like "body suit sia" lol
like some suakus in silk jerseys & fbts.

first quarter sec 3s only,
played with rach.
so so, since starting a fresh game.
ps rach, didn't look in & missed all of your front holds.

2nd quarter played with trik.
LOL, best doub team of the day man. (jkjk)
haha so we're partners man.
& we had like a new handshake. LOL

then rest all the way till 5th quarter.
totally sian diao since it rained.
for 5th, i glided arnd the court
& it sucks esp when i'm playing GA.
& my play sucked big time.
i really dunno wad to do rdy,
to the extent tt i desperately asked clau what (space) she could see.
its like clear the space, offer out, cannot.
then offer in, far, sian diao, pass out & play on.
cannot agn. & i got damn stuck.
in the end, dudiao, so just shoot.
wtf.

so yeah, planned all the stunts (aka strategies lol)
but didn't perform them aft all.

aft game slacked awhile and i tried on clau's ankle guard.
cool stuffs man.
& i felt so addicted to it i decided to wear it home. LOL
i suddenly feel like purchasing one. (for fun)

whilst shooting,
hanni, lx and i heard this 'EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BANG' sound
so we went to the tennis court to check it out.
accident on the road luh. & we were like so intrigued by it
we hid behind the coconut trees and bushes bollywood style.
we were expecting an ahbeng,
or at least a typical sg'porean showdown
of "this bloody car costs 213454756823"
or "wa lao, toot toot toot toot toot, tooooooooooooooot."
BUT to our disappointment,
they were calm and everything we didn't wanna see.

so aft tt bballed.
really fun today. & funny as usual.
had new style-handshake with tudi.
lol, so 2 new handshakes in a day.

remix

2008-04-02T23:14:00.000-07:00

yo.
think i'd just touch on some stuffs randomly.

i got kinda pissed today.
but still okay(kinda).

performance aft flag raising was damn cool.
best i've seen so far manzxc.
(fyi, the following conver has no offence to anyone.)
SW: hey does ncc march tt well?
MX: *shakes head vigorously & mouths NOOOOO*
all: wa lao, you pon so much still dare to say.
lols.

played a lil bball before pe.
since the staff rm is pretty far away fr the field.
so it was not bad till i got 'stabbed' in the chest.
okay, some hand swinged right at my ribs when i intercepted a high ball.
& momentarily, i had a lost of air
& in mid-air i shouted FKKKKKK.
when i landed,
found myself coughing like mad, gasping for air.
no exaggeration man, full, uncut version.
& tt person(?) totally continued to play like some mvp bastard.

hmm, ripped shirt, punch in the stomach, wack on the ribs.
but tks to lx who came to ask & scold 'the hand'.
& of course the others for caring (:

so aft chem (aft break),
i realised someone read my inbox -.-
like wtf? did i rampage through your ~~mom's~~ letterbox or smth?
but he/she/he-she/she-he must be devasted
to be spammed by CNN news.
sad case,
& tt inbox invader left in a rush
cause it didn't exit my inbox and just tossed my hp back into my bag.
how discreet.

anw, so no harm done this time.
assembly was weird for me.
when we were greeted by the vid on fats blocking the arteries,
i felt hungry.
like wtf?
ppl go omg eeeeeeew,
& my stomach goes grrrrrrrr.
lol, so gastric and all but no food,
since we had to bring the pri sch kids arnd.

it was kinda fun,
kpkp with hanni & glennis (ok, i was the one kp-ing, they're too nice)
then brought those uberly adorable kids arnd for activities n all.
cool stuffs. then bball.
haiz, off focused agn.

paiseh evil cockroach, srsly.

didn't i tell you

2008-03-28T23:49:00.000-07:00

yo.

yest was horrible.
my body was aching like shitzxc
& early in the morning i ran 2.4 for pe.
then my knee further retricted me fr loads,
like bball and walking for instance.

hmm but lessons were not bad.
just tt i was only half awake throughout the lang arts test.
D:

had a good deal of bball aft sch.
both eye opening and amusing.
tsk, & tt save-ball-hit-head-of-teammember-&-go-out thingy.
i swear i almost died laughing.
but no, i remained slightly calm and absolutely polite.

TODAY.
was a blast man. :DDD
lessons were okay, no eye-prying and all.

main point: i've not been so happy this whole year.
cause of what?
cause cause cause...
I FKING PASSED MY MATH MAN.
FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME THIS YEAR.
(i shan't hide my maniacal laughter. )

proceedings:
S.I.R: no. 1.
ST: *give uncertain/scared/anxious/life-at-risk/praying face*
S.I.R: *suddenly smiles* ahhh estee passed arh, i'm v happy.
ST: thankyou! *am chio LOUDLY inside*
back to seat,
"HAHA OMFG I PASSED! like wtf i can't believe myself!"
woohoo, its ma birthday, its ma birthday.
*william hung hand-circling shitzxc*
followed by my tablemates laughing.

hmm pop chi quiz today.
i was like sweating aft the test luh.
idk why... afraid to fail chi agn? :/

KNC agn aft sch.
slack+ support jnrs + street netball.
think gotta brush up on my play and all rdy.
i've dropped tremedously.

thought abt stuffs during class.
idk how i really feel.
is it how much i feel sorry for you
or is it just what's 'right' to do.
chatting in class set me thinking agn.
realised aft the distance,
your presence is still here after all.
i still smile during 'bio' & the mention of you.
pure bliss, pure bliss my friends.

Apple Bottom Jeans, Boots with the fur.

2008-03-25T22:25:00.000-07:00

i felt good.
i completed every single HW last night.
& i finally summoned enough courage to ask my parents to sign
tt sinful piece of paper.

today is a hardcore day.
cause we have all the hardcore lessons.
i didn't feel sleepy/bored tho.
& i laughed like crazy during lang arts.
HAHA highlight (conver) of the day:
" sian, tday's ___ 1 hr sia."
"wa lao, my life sucks."
LOL.

so aft sch, chionged to KNC
to support jnrs,
& to run abt 6.5km! (wtf)
bus ride was fun but scary too.
fun- we were crapping & singing low. lol
scary- we know tt we'll meet our doom at the end of the ride.

the run was omfg.
there's like almost no end to it.
& after every bend rachel & ximin seem to be gone.
& most of the time, i ran by myself
through all those unfamiliar roads and pathways.
there was this junction i almost got lost cause rach & xm
were nowhere in sight. so i only could follow my xm-instincts.
I didn't feel insecure, cause i could only think of reaching KNC.
so yeah, the regulars,
knee pain due to the uneven-ness of the ground & the concrete.

anw during the run,
i ran past this P3 guy,
and he was blasting LOW on his phone! lol.
which meant tt it was a phone with mp3 functions!
so i ran to the beat. (ok, extra info)
like when i was in P3 the most i got was a toy (barbie?) hp,
which when you pressed 1, it said smth like "hi, this is barbie."
& 2, "hi! let's be BFFs."
LOL, & this rich kidzxc is blasting: Shawty got low low low low low low low low

so aft jnr's match,
grabbed a quickie fr kfc within 15mins.
& it turned out tt the bus was late.
so lagged & i actually finished my meal at knc.
then back to sch & home aft changing.

tmrrw will be zxiawjklsrdnselfd.
bet my arms will remain dead and my legs will die,
like what lx says.
PE tmrrw. fitness kind, wonderful.

motivation?

2008-03-22T17:50:00.000-07:00

wed/thurs were one(or two) of the days,
which you would bury your head in your hands,
and go "i'm such a loser.",
and 5 mins later,
you tell yourself, "i'm gonna make it big the nxt time."
& put on a determined and serious face.

why the disappointment and sudden motivation?
simple.
cause i got so injured by something called the GPA (or maybe just mine).
and comparison does kill. (人比人气死人-lianbing)
motivation: aft seeing "it's all gonna end soon" as my pm,
(which was meant to be a joke btw)
i was offered truckloads of PDP lectures.
haha kidding, i do appreciate them (:
main source of motivation: MYSELF.
lol, not ego okay. i just decided tt i had to srsly chiong rdy.
midyears <2.5 = deep shit cut down-ed trng, calls, suspicious stares, one-to-one talks.
(although most ppl think cut down-ed trng is paradise. lol)

so, from now on say hello to 'estee-mugger-chin'.
or at least, as effect from mon, i swear.

bballed before weights on thurs.
it was fun/funny.
really looked forward to it since i've not bballed for like 2 weeks.
lol, kept wanting to pass to qiaowei when she's in the other team.
bball agn aft weights. :DDD
magic of bball, (at least for me)
you forget wtvr there is and play your heart out/ass off.
temporary numbing effect but i get to LOL too.
so, bball is da gamezxc.

i feel like i've been punched in the guts.
i feel all shaky from disbelief.
you guys just pretended to care,
but you really just wanted another crap to gossip abt.
just another "hey, since i'm bored lemme tell you smth" kinda thing.
i just wanted to have ppl to express my fear to, then what?
i look like a complete moron right now.
"hey, i've heard." ,
"hey, how's everything?"
HAHA
heard? spreaded? OMG-ed to?
i don't fking care.
anw i'm so screwed rdy.
& i bet you're going, "omg, so its... true?" ,
"yeah, tt's why she's so agitated."
y'know what?
YES. You bitches are right. I'm agitated.
cause i just dawned upon the fact tt i shld have kept my fking mouth shut
infront of ppl who seemingly were supposed to be trustworthy.

caller id

2008-03-17T22:48:00.000-07:00

"hello mr/mrs___, i've called to update you abt stuffs & tt i'm back!"
HAHA.
shall be my fave welcoming tagline. lol

anw,
u17s on sat was -.-
totally screwed it.
oh well, life is filled with irony.
or maybe its even an irony itself.

so weekends spent pia-ing HW & mugging
(like every weekend, except for the mugging part).
but surprisingly not till veh late.
haha, in terms of farrah & my 'not veh late'.

had a bad start for today.
late, knee pain, bad run, felt pathetic.
i hate it when i have to stop my runs
cause of knee pain.
& worst thing, i ran like i was gonna die or smth.
unglam, v demoralising, D:
what if this happens on the NAPFA test day itself?

& today, i've learnt tt i've gotta attend chi remedial.
like WTF? this is the first time in my 15 years of life
tt i've to go for chi remedial.
plus, my mom's so gonna murder me.
(~~when~~if she finds out, tt is.)
D.E.P.R.E.S.S.I.N.G.

mugged (in class) aft sch with glenda and all.
crapped a lil, hardcore-d a lil and chatted a lil.
then math test aft sch was errrr.
after the test everyone was like 'aiyah, fail liao.'
HAHA & i revealed my first ans,
& apparently clau, lx & siuwai got the same,
we all screamed like a bunch of BIMBOS. lol
haha, insurance, insurance.

went for chi remedial right aft,
therefore skipping weights. ):
aft tt, went to canteen to lag for awhile.
felt lost, wanted to bball but ppl were chased back rdy.
so went to gym.
haha got to give the lineup for abs.
& stoned at the hiongsters do abs.

although today was rough,
& i felt trully disappointed with myself,
it was still okay.
weird? (:

talking abt disappointment,
think i'd be totally sian diao with my SS.
it shld have been one of the subjs i had confidence in.
but what i'm saying now doesn't sound so confident eh?

ok,
just realised this is such a loser post.

pour in the new stuff

2008-03-12T15:33:00.000-07:00

hello.

this hols can also be a refurbishment for me.
not spirirtually or whatever-ly.
i'm getting new stuffs!
woohoo :D

got my new phone (finally!) on mon.
so fiddled with it the whole day and yest too.
had to find other shoes for school,
legend's totally outta stock. ):
so yeah, found some (in mind).
but i'm scared they'd come back with a "srry, no more" agn.

i'm gonna get a new bag soon,
cause my current one is ~~shitzxc~~in bad shape.
& another reason, HAHAHAHA.
okay, so i'm quite sure of hoops,
just not sure of logo colour.
& whether OG carries it.
arh, i'm living in uncertainty.

&& i'm gonna have a haircut.
yuejun hairstyle? lol
or wait till june?
or just trim it -.-

hw,
gym once more,
shoot,
step up 2,
trials,
aoshen(?),
decide.

tsk

2008-03-09T23:12:00.000-07:00

this whole week's been bad.
emotional rollercoaster?

got really bothered.
and affected badly.
altered my whole line of thinking.
& its hard to stay afloat.

its like,
smooth sailing,
got over tt obstacle,
lalala,
THEN all of a sudden.
BAM! your boat gets a hole
& down down down it goes.

i'm not sure if i made the right choice before,
which was what thought of previously.
its like i'm doubting everything i've decided upon.

guess what?
i wasn't pissed at first.
but now i am.
what's the use of repeating the same words over and over?
why not just copy and paste it a thousand zillion times
and spam me 24hrs till i turn mad & jump?
why not just keep enforcing the fact tt you ___,
till i chant nth but tt.
its like you think i don't know how you feel,
but guess what?
i'm like a total stranger to you.
HAHA, your claims, your claims.

if you think i dun wanna respond,
why keep asking?
probed once, not given,
you think i'd give it the second time?
its fking annoying, i swear.

whole day out

2008-03-09T23:10:00.000-07:00

went for u19s with cyn yest.
omg pwnage of scary imba ppl.

but was a good experience
and a wow-ing morning.

tks cyn too (:
then we went to king albert's park for macs,
starved and thirsty.

aft tt had to chiong back home to bathe and change.
then chiong to sch for psl gm.
discussed, watched stuffs. lol then headed for vivo
to meet yijin & get dinner.

"early birds" for ug campfire in sch.
lol, despite being late.
then played lil bball,
then sat down for the preformances.
zi-highed & screamed our asses off.
weichen & my screaming worsened.
can't reach tt note rdy.

then lagged arnd & home.
reached home & fell dead. zzz

all a facade to get rid of what's within.

hmm :/

2008-03-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

fri was okay i guess.

was kinda looking forward to it.

lol, maybe cause of the mass ponning of lessons.

left during mid-pe.

chionged to bus,

chionged to tpsh.

chionged lunch,

chionged back to tpsh for officiating.

grats to jnrs (:

could watch their match at the vip stand,

till we found out the 'wooden planks' were much

more appropriate & the view was spectacular fr there!

omg, tks man. we totally misjudged you fr the

'nobody come near baseline' incidents.

keep up the kp man.

shall ~~see~~pwn your two-faceness nxt year.

pick balls/mop floor job was not tt bad.

sent signals over to lx. lol

gay, but yayee.

then work work work,

heartattack, work, work, work.

& mini ~~farewell~~don't go party

for shinzu. then took pics pics & more pics.

changed and left for longjohn's.

ate, gossipped, laughed.

& lagged there with lx :D till aoshen started.

gossip kills time effectively man.

lol.

aoshen was a total disappointment.

at least tt day's match was.

major turn off luh.

lx started cubing,

i started yawning proffusely,

& chatting.

my nose was spammed with someone's aftershave,

there was a scarce population of spectators,

and everything just seemed -.-

left before it ended.

& i felt happier.

ah yes,

2008-03-01T17:14:00.000-08:00

looks like i've not posted SW's bdae party pics.

(& lol to 'SW'. nice nickname given during lecture)

xiaopang didn't fall for the trick. yet.

so the continuation of camwhoring,

right aft this pic, lx and i turned arnd...

LOL.

the whole party was really enjoyable,

fr daidi to bbq-ing, to the tempo game, the wet business, all tt camwhoring and cake snagging.

shopping before tt was cool too.

highlight: scammed ppl with our adidas & crumpler plastic bags.

locked lashing

2008-02-29T23:56:00.000-08:00

this week passed by really quickly.
its like monday i'm struggling to wake up
for another start of the week,
and HWHW,
i'm posting now abt my week.

i'm really tired this two days.
major lag of sleep,
hiong exercising. lol

yest was really bad.
i felt like flaming these few days
but i kinda contained everything
& it feels fking uneasy.
prob is, i have no energy/time to do a wholesome flaming.
):

felt really unwell aft maths yest,
ponned chem prac & slept in class.
& omg was so longzhong luh.
ms mar came to check me out. LOL
but tks to siyuan for worrying abt me & buying me drinks.
haha tks loads to those who asked & stuff.
yayee 3H (:

so, for PE, siyuan, glennis & i slacked at the grandstand.
& get this,
glennis & i are both health ambassadors! lol.

& of course,
almost everyday's a bball day for 3H.
HAHA. bball= our life.
its so...
erm...
iconic.

& 93 home.
darren tien, jiajing (?) & i played bingo.
LOL luh.
like while balancing on the jerky bus,
we were going, "6, 20, 13... BINGO!"
hahahaha

everything seemed emo today,
cause s.i.r was emo.
felt abit sick.
just... :/

save your bitching for phone calls with my parents
if you wish.
i don't care.
you're so fking screwed.
you screw up everything.
& you don't know what's happening at all.

its like we were nearly thrown back to tt stage.
grim?

& are you gonna be okay

2008-02-24T22:25:00.000-08:00

i'm scared.

i'm very terrified.

like x92307821904703284.

omg,
i feel like my lungs are expanding
& on the verge of exploding.
D:

idk why but i'm feeling superbly scared.
abt alot of things.

why must i find out only aft so many months.
i feel every nerve of mine being plucked
whenever you say it hurts damn bad
& it sends me to a critical stage of misery.
you're right,
it srsly feels like any moment,
you'd be gone.

wow i'm blogging.

2008-02-20T23:38:00.000-08:00

hello.
like omg i'm blogging. lol
why did i decide to blow off (virtually)
the 5 inch thick of dust off blogger?
CAUSE THERE'S NO HW TODAY.

this week's a lil screwed. :/
lack of energy
& i'm aching all over.

i think i'm losing it.
ALL of it.
no drive,
no urge,
no focus,
no passion.
stand, throw, let go.

okay, i shld catch up on my sleep.
this post is crap. tsk.

i fear, i really do.

fk off.

2008-02-14T23:22:00.000-08:00

quit pulling ppl into your mess.

quit forcing ppl to do what they don't wish to do.

fking stay off my team.

_l_ what a total turn off.

no flaming yo

2008-02-09T23:59:00.000-08:00

yow.

HAHA,

i've been like missing out so much on the blogging world.

anw,

no flaming today,

cause its still CNY (:

monday, monday. (unofficial end of CNY).

well, i was right.

bdae was a great let down.

but tks for the great presents! :DDD

& tks for all the wishes (:

CNY was okay,

but i was damn tired.

idk why.

like eating loads of stuff & collecting $$ wears me out.

omg, i'm destined to hard life.

oh well,

what's CNY w/o hw yeah.

& jldoubo was damn innovative

to conceal our 'work' in angbaos

to give us a 'pleasant' surprise.

with of course, a thoughtful column of food for thought.

in measurements of calories.

wish us all luck aft CNY,

esp during fitness.

zomg.

yayee,

tmrrw: siu wai's(ok, shaowei) bdae bash.

HAHA. meeting with lx, cyn, birdy & yy for shopping first.

cool.

looking forward to lx's coolio nailzxc. lol

& leehanni made my day just now.

tks loads (:

what a bdae. (to be)

2008-02-02T22:57:00.000-08:00

hello.
i swear this is pathetic.
i only have like the weekends to update.

anw,
i think my bdae this year is one of the worst,
or maybe the worst.
guess i can't judge yet, cause its not exactly my bdae yet
but still,
i'm not enjoying one bit of NOW.

maybe i might feel better tmrrw,
aft having my haircut (like finally),
and shopping.

then agn,
tmrrw i might be all stoney & anxious.
this whole week fr tues has been a bitch to me.
only things tt made me laugh were maybe things like
weihao getting rings. LOL
& some classes.

why do we face all the music?
is this because of what we do?
if it is, do we have a choice?
one failure and everyone's going bam.
like its the end.
has it occurred to you tt we have not given up yet?
tt we'll nv give up on ourselves?
stop giving her so much pressure.
there & then, i realise why she can sometimes be strict and all,
cause of all she needs to face.
we're just a team trying our best,
what is there gain or lose?
why is everyone so caught up abt the fact tt we failed just once.
disappointing?
think its not for us?
you try to play then.
you try to own everyone then.
you try to get everything for the management or wad shit then.
you try to face all these fking remarks then.

wtf?

2008-01-26T23:12:00.000-08:00

i've not posted for like near a week?
sian diao.

this week's been bad.
i nearly became a rock aft stoning so much the entire week.
tt wasn't suppose to sound lame, it's true.
& some things make me think "what's the point of going on?"

monday's match wasn't well played.
so i lost to yuheng.
but we'll work hell loads better for the upcoming ones.
always rmb,
RVNB pwns you.

anw,
sch's just assignments & tests.
maybe for HCL class we get to laugh alot.
tt's abt it.
then trng aft tt.
if not shoot & lag in sch.

one thing's for sure,
i'm so screwed for maths & (both) sciences.
ARHHHHHHHHHHHH

loads on my to-do list
& loads of things to settle.
so much to do,
so little enthusiam.

well, at least got investiture deco stuffs done today at gm.
went for health ambassadors' trng today (wth?)
then psb gm & rehearsal.
yayee to publi.
i've got really efficient members. :DDD

i've been containing this for like damn long.
although it has nth much to do with me,
i still reckon its impt to address.
cause it affects a grp of ppl badly & cause you're a bastard.
(this is not flaming, its just how i really feel)

well, you think you're all tt, but HAHA- you're not.
you just hold what's seemingly coloured on your shoulders
but do you even really do what's to be done for your team?
you emphasize to everyone to have will power & all tt crap
but why are they still so demoralised?
MAYBE cause they know for sure you're a hypocite.

your willpower exceeds the context which brings you to the bench.
the problem is tt you still don't get what's up.
you still think tt you've saved the team or wtvr.
tsk, determination wad fk.
if i had faith, i'd lose all of it as well.

ppl tell you once, tell you twice,
you don't listen.
let me tell you smth now,
YOU SUCK more than anyone in this team
cause you not only suck as player but also as a person.
if you think you're tt great look who's on the bench now?
see who's screwing up set-ups now?
take a peek at who's scoring 4 points now?
(well, 4 points is good for your standard. laughs)

everyone has given up on themselves cause of your ignorance.
okay, maybe its you.
not tt you're the only one who is proud & lousy.
but if you wanna give anyone a talk or two,
do support what you preach.

i'm tired of all the nagging
& pretence.
false face must hide what the false heart doth know.

he's back in action.

2008-01-21T23:11:00.000-08:00

yo.

today was such a hilarious day, i swear.
hmm, at least till the start of the game.

anws,
today i laughed ALOT,
i guess the whole class did.

why the sudden change in mood in class?
bb is back. HAHA
so is his deal or no deal gesture
& all the impersonations & jokes of him.
LOL at muxin's immitations.

oh yes,
jolene was asked to sweep the floor during hcl lesson,
huang lao shi: 谁是 jolene?
everyone: cai yi ling
(then jolene had some difficulty in sweeping)
so, muxin: eh, ask jay chou to come help leh.
idk why but it cracked farrah, glenda & me up badly.

&& the guess the phrase game.
eg: "两个字，形容神智不清。
muxin joked, bb.
then we all laughed but we laughed even harder
when we got the signature deal or no deal gesture. LOL

HAHA,
& the reason for sch is non other than
BB.

on the down side,
today's match was not tt well played.
i felt weird on court,
like i didn't smile/joke much.
just felt sian diao and all.
wasn't enjoying the match like the prev two or smth.

anyway,
to end off lightheartedly;

the quote of the day, "nothing in this world is constant."

LOL.

"i accept notes as well"

2008-01-19T22:58:00.000-08:00

hello,
okay, i know i've been majorly lagging in blogging.
HAHA. so i'm here to redeem myself.
(long post)

classes are kinda enjoyable,
although most of the time i'll be like 'HUH?',
cause i get to laugh ALOT.

had our first two matches on wed & thurs.
2nd match was better played.
& i feel much more comfortable working with lx rdy.
cause we pwn. HAHA
& 2nd match was more fun,
like lotsa funny stuffs & i laughed more.

fri was ...
phototaking,
farrah was absent!
watched jnr's match and stuffs.
(oh yes, apparently we all missed the presence
of our dearest birdbirth.)

things get really fked up when you think its all fine.
and reality just smacks you in the face
cause you've been too gullible.
its damn cruel & i always learn it this way.
do you think they really look into it with more detail than us?
i highly doubt so.
if you're not the one going through all tt fk
how would you know?
sometimes you just feel tt all hopes are lost
& your faith in smth has evaporated,
but will they ever come back?
tt's the ~~question~~ irony.

so aft trng stoned at bus stop
& i felt a heat of anger & despair (hard to describe)
& srry tudi & sarah for dao-ing you guys in a way.

today= flagday.
2 words, sian diao.
ppl might claim their realisation of some wtvrshitcrappolcorrect stuffs
but i think tt i've not changed my perspective towards it.
other than the expected cold shoulders which were expected,
there're actually really charitable ppl out there.
well, i realised smth aft all. lol
some ppl make you feel really warm inside
& think "phew, singaporeans aren't tt bad as they claim to be."
while others invite you to slap them left & right.
tt's what we call charity aye?

smth funny:
ST: hi, would you like to donate? (this is my new slogan rdy)
Passerby: hmm, gosh i've got no coins.
ST: well, i accept notes too. (beams at P)
P: serious? you really do?
ST: 100%. purple, red, blue, orange also np.
P: ohhhh, i didn't know, alright. (slots in $2).
ST: thank you very much. (also a new slogan)
(then i told chingyee)
ching: woah, so nice?
ST: this is called ben. lol (kay, its mean but like wtf-ly nice & scammed)

so yeah,
we also realised tt when ppl walk pass us,
a) they tend to have neckaches & stretch it to the other direction
b) turn shy & avoid eye contact
c) engage in a long call (which nobody actually answers)
d) cultivate great curiosity for the can but not donate
e) "eh, wo shi bu shi kan dao dong xi?"
f) sudden inabillity in reading watches so as to try to make out the time for ages
g) have thoughts tt we owe them $$ & growl at us
h) indulge in bankruptcy
etc.

anyhow, aft tt was lunch at pizza hut with 2L'ers
then lib with jungletribe, yijin, yuejun, felix & junming.
they were HW-ing,
i was sims 2 + sims 2 pets-ing on yijin's mob.
& its batt went flat. xP

damn tired & drousy today, so i shall hit the hay early.
early in my context.

we don't talk abt it so i guess we don't know.
at least, we don't say it to each other.
do you get ticked at the fact tt i'm so close to him
like how sometimes i fake a smile & laugh when
i want to say "fk off bitch?"
i do sense things, cause you don't fake as well as i do.

depressing start

2008-01-14T23:42:00.000-08:00

hello,
i managed to squeeze in some time to update abt today.

i had quite a laugh during lessons,
eg. in chem, hist & maths.
chem was farrah. haha
she was called up to write smth,
then she stun diao & went "you neh..."
lol, but ceized her sent, in time.

arh yes, maths today was hilarious.
other than the hitting of frederick,
there were more tricks up his old bag.
"this is not completing the square,
this is forgetting what you're doing.
YOU HAVE BAD MEMORY."
lol wtf.

other than tt, my eyesight didn't hinder me fr reading fr the board
with the large fonts,
decorated fonts ( i might add).
you can seriously doubt you have the highest pitch in town,
cause someone already pwns you.

anyhow,
match wasn't tt pleasant.
actually, we didn't even get to play our FIRST match
of the season.
DUE to unforeseen circumstances,
like rain. wtffffffffffffffffffffff.

we tried every means and ways to stop the waterworks.
we all stuck leaves onto out hair (ask jldoubo),
we prayed (our asses off),
we sang (sundance-song lol),
we begged!
BUT, the cloud just rained in our miserable faces.

EFFyou sky,
EFF you the all mighty atmosphere (or wtvr you call yourself).
we don't save the earth,
you die.

drained

2008-01-12T14:40:00.000-08:00

hey ho.

no time & energy to blog recently.
would have to pia HW
then drop dead & zzz.

interesting things in sch these few days:
hmm, maybe they are more but this is what's
off the top of my head.

i fixed my own specs.
LOL, i placed the lens back aft several attempts.
perseverance does pay off,
okay, maybe cause i was multi-tasking in class. :X
yes, multi-tasking.

farrah: you can be an optician nxt time.
st: lol. just cause i replaced one single lense in my whole entire life.
farrah:first time leh.
st: omg, this is so cool.
farrah: which? you being an optician or fixing your specs foc?
st: lol (thinks for awhile) both!

well, taiko has always been my forte.

since i missed the last three lessons on fri,
due to the timely/mistaken cca trials,
heard tt someone was turning into an old b.
i would pretty much agree
judging by the awesome 55 Q.s in one weekend
& water-spitting high pitches.

went for the leaders seminar thingy yest.
yet another
plan-for-ip-omfgly-long-slideshowy-massdiscussion-mahjongpaper
kinda thing.
but my first grp (8) was kinda laidback & we laughed quite abit.

then aft beehoon was 'concentrated' discussion with psls.
with, lx, yijin, bingle & me, you know its crappy.
HAHA. & our secretary, dy, was detailed & precise & billingual
in terms of his word-for-word minutes.

aft tt ethel & lx accompanied me to shoot
then home.

tmrrw is the day.
the day we fight our hearts out,
the day we sweat our lives onto the grails of cement,
the day we... grasp every single ball.
(ok, the ball part sounds wrong)
& of course, the day lee & i utilise peripheral vision.

RVNB; sprintdodgeroll.

when tension and anxiety builds up,
(no, nth to do with conflicts)
i think abt alot of random stuffs.
weird.

do you see the agony?

2008-01-09T23:16:00.000-08:00

today is finally a day with almost no HW.
i've been waiting so long,
sooooo long.

i'm dead tired almost everyday
and my voice just came back.
but i'm still coughing & all. sian
past few days i had the aka sexy voice
BUT, i dun exactly find it very sexy
when i can't even be heard.

today my calf worsened aft morning run.
or rather, morning sprinting.
& i limped throughout the day.
veh veh veh tiring & painful.

aft sch i was solo kia.
lol, but tudi helped me bring the pole into the hall.
then shot while they trained with the sec ones.
HAHA aft tt was supervisor. lol.
actually, only kepo arnd.
then my calf felt strained enough
so i went off and lagged at the courts.
then home.

calf injury(?)
PE tmrrw (most likely to run 2.4)
shooters trng tmrrw
gm tmrrw
seasons in fking 5 days.
& what a screwed grping we've got.
all in all,
estee is unhappy.

i've been kinda zi bi nowadays.
maybe cause i've gotta pia stuffs during break or smth.
i tend to skip break and lunch,
okay, meals in sch. lol
wierd. izzit the atmosphere i detest or
the lack in time?

confrontation time,
but i've no energy to flame.
so, no sarca, only straightforward stuffs.

well, i guess you're hopeless (as always).
but pls don't go screwing abt like you're all tt.
don't think when ppl don't retaliate,
they're fine with your fk.
& do check the facts before you pinpoint anyone AGAIN.
its fking irritating i swear.

no, we didn't do anything tt's why there's nth there.
& since you did smth, the saviour of all mankind,
i guess you shld be satisfied.
fyi, srry to crash your dreams of bitching to us/abt us,
we're creating a whole new one.

it's gone.

2008-01-07T23:25:00.000-08:00

hello (my) dead blog.

i've been lagging like hell.
lol, but like always, i've got a reason.
first week for sch= busy.hectic.chiong.12am.5.30am.cheering.
hmm, it's pretty much always the same for first week eh?

i shall cut short everything for all's best interests.

first day was 3HHHHHHHHH all day.
morning, we had the
seemingly-pointless-standingarnd-'guiding'sec1stoLT1-ushering.
like so damn many ppl cramming the corridors
there seem to be more psls than sec ones.
tsk.

then yadayada, forced clapping.
lx AP, niceee.
& for me, first day of sch,
first seat in the line. AWESOME.

sec 3 icebreakers.
okayy i guess, but i was damn sleepy fr the lack of sleep
and the wtf-5.45am-thingy.
cheering was GOOD.
& apparently our class kept doing the friendship dance. lol

3High(?) pwns.
HAHAHAHA.

aft sch was trng.

then orientation for sec ones the nxt day.
omg it was much better than last yr's.
got 1H.
not tt an enthu class as a whole
but can be cooperative at times.
at least the cheering in the end was good (:
rmbered quite a no. of names. lol
& mass dance and all were damn fun with psls.
LOL, yijin owns.

first day rdy cheer like siao,
but luckily, jieru was veh prepared.
she was our strepsils supplier.

nxt day was campfire night.
shuyinn & i slacked for telematch.
we observed & waved+chitchatted with passers-by.
LOL, one of my mini resolutions have been accomplished.
so, both of us were the cleanest of the lot. (0% flour)

cca trials were not as exciting as i thought it'd be.
jordyn & i nearly fell asleep & we resorted to telling lame/sick jokes.
it was damn sad tt bdmnt doesn't accept guys this year.
like so wtf.
so many young talents in this batch.
imbas & zhai kias gone to waste.
then i ponned half of tt trials and wushu for netball trials.

then short trng.
& dinner, then campfire.
whole atmosphere was damn high with cheers, songs & dances.
by the end of the night, i've lost my voice.
then we highed with the niu nai class. LOL
& laughed like siao.
plus, late night flour expedition. HAHA

washed up, hit the mattress.
shuyinn, hanni, lixuan, livia & i koped the huge mattress.
yupp, the veh soft and bouncy one.
HAHA i was wrapped up in my sleeping bag & i fell asleep the first.

woke up & washed up.
morning excersice was -.-
then breakfast with much better food than dinner.
LOL siyuan got damn hyper
& she went to run...
with in a veh funny route.
we all laughed like mad.
then kp session, clean up.
& CCA TRIALS.
tt day's was much better than the prev day.
wasn't tt sian.

lol, my class's two jokers sashayed round the track
for trials & all. then went to play some bball
with yijin, weichen, hanni, cynthia, kendrick...
& watched the trials.

aft tt was tc session
THEN FINALLY HOME.
& i nv knew darren tien took 93 home as well.
lols, bi ci bi ci.

_______________________________________

today is the start of official lessons for me.
i find myself counting down to the end of every lesson,
& eventually dismissal.
i'm freaking tired like almost everyday.

FYI, aft returning fr camp,
i slept for like 21 hrs (almost straight).
zhai, i knw.

anw, jack made a fab speech to the sch today.
bu kui shi 1H de. :DDD

there's trng tmrrw.
i think i'll die even before season comes.
speaking of which, is coming in exactly 1 week.
7 days.
fking seven days.

hello first day of sch

2008-01-01T22:46:00.000-08:00

tmrrw's the first day of sch.
anticipation= 0.

6.45am in FULL school U.
how mfkingly wonderful.
so yes, we'll be your welcoming committee
with maybe someone in black & another
persistent and enthusiastic person
who insisted on us to join her entourage.
if only it was tt posh.

on the other hand,
new class,
new ppl (to dao?) .
jk, hope it'd go smooth.
FACs to watch out.

& trng tmrrw.
again. (:
am i really tt happy?
idk.
at least i can stay out till aft 5pm.

okay,
home is screwed now
so i'm so-very sarca.
do not bring your pms or wtvr fk into my life.
& shut the fk up if you don't know what i'm doing.
i fking hate ppl doubting what i say.

i shall get some sleep now before
SIX- FORTY FIVE IN THE MORNING.

2008, year of the 'H'

2007-12-31T23:57:00.000-08:00

ah yes,
class list is out.
how efficient of the sch.

today is kinda a bad day for me.
i went to get a haircut.
& i my fringe got screwed agn.
I KNOW. right?
so, my fringe has to go through another month away fr humanity.
but, i did windowshopping to make me feel better.
a productive one indeed.

anw, ppl are at countdown parties,
while i'm counting down with my com & HW.
wonderful.

oh well,
i decided to join the latter and write smth abt 07/08.

refer to livejournal. :DDD ty.

having the day fr hell

2007-12-29T23:19:00.000-08:00

in the aftnoon.
i felt like i could just squat in a corner to stone.
i felt so messed up inside.
to calmly think was almost impossible.

on the way home fr a match i did badly in
you just told me...
i only could clutch onto my phone
& think of the possible outcomes, like i always do.
but guess what, this time i couldn't think straight.
i did the unthinkable,
which was to ask my dad for opinions. (surprising i know)
& i felt better, slightly.
"just make the person happy when he/she still can."

i thought & thought abt it.
what i've been going through this month or so,
is it all dust to be blown off or?
i felt like just letting it go by, however hard it was for me.

i tried listening to hiphop to ease the pressure within,
but 'pump it' on replay didn't work.
at all.
neither did 'i got it fr my mama'.

but when you tried to lie
i thought, why?
why lie?
somemore to me?
why did i ever trust you when you kept so much,
so much.
you're saying it hurts when i don't tell you.
but when you tell me smth, it hurts twice as much.

pardon the choppy sents.
they're just like my thoughts now.

can someone spell bleak?

2007-12-25T22:43:00.000-08:00

hey ppl.

yest was a bore.
yes, i'm saying my christmas eve was boring.

my parents didn't bring me out for countdown parties,
i did my hw,
no presents (although my mom claims the scarf is -.-),
the usual shows were switched to xmas 'specials',
b-o-r-i-n-g.

& yest wasn't much of a jolly day for me.
i was on the tip of my seat almost the whole,
flipping my phone non-stop,
standing up & sitting down agn,
pacing to the fridge and back.

i was hell of a worried
and my thoughts contradicted with each other.

now, you have to agree i had a boring xmas eve.
HAHAHAHAHA.
wtf, the boredom is getting to my head.

i feel that chirstmas has decreased its value for me
over the years and now i'm treating it like just another day.
i rmb i used to buy presents for my parents
and try to keep it a secret
& look forward to chritsmas tgt
when i was a kid.
i would wrap it up, hide it really well
& even play christmas carols on cd or smth.

guess since everything became mundane
& things were to be tense for
got into the way & distracted me?
i really don't know.
but, christmas never gets old;
does it?

would things always seem innocent & well?
NO.
& definitely not ppl.

well, this isn't a veh common/favourable xmas post
but it is how i really feel.

i thought i could let go
but yest you made me worry like hell
& i realised how i can't put it all down.
at least not now.
is this a turning point
or just another pitstop?

h-e-c-t-i-c

2007-12-22T23:24:00.000-08:00

hey ppl.

i left my blog hanging. ):
maybe cause i'm too tired/no mood to post.
so, i'm here to update abt fri.

fridayfridayfriday.
busybusybusy.
stickystickysticky.

okay, i make the whole day sound bad.

morning: 7am!
yes, estee going to sch at 7am!
shock shock!

well, i managed to reach sch
at such an inhuman hour.(for me)
then went round to check the classrms,
actually chat. HAHA.

then went to 'manage' 1H's registration
with michelle & jieru.
lol junhao, sexy voice.
at first, there was a scarce population.
THEN suddenly,
like a trampede, the population within the classrm
built up.
& ~~the classrm exploded within secs with ppl flying out.~~
sorry, i mean we ran out of chairs.
& pens.
siyuan helped to carry chairs for us & we borrowed fr 'fanfan'.
(zomg, think __ will come aft us with her fancy slang.)

then aft a busy session answering Q.s,
repeating the same words,
mass chatting,
laughing at thhhhizzee,
scribbling on reused paper...,
we cleaned up & bubye.

lee, puah & i then went to look for choo in the hall.
& off to the side gate.
LOL. to call for kfc delivery.
it was damn lag & no set meals
so we sian diao, switched to mac.

the middie, & both shooters slacked at the guard post.
HAHA. the middie.
then we waited & waited,
finally deciding to listen to the radio.
we tried to tune for 98/98.7 but to no avail.
we listened to this ad chnnl for like damn long.
then suddenly i tuned to dunnowhatchnnl which had eng songs.
LOL. but soon the mac delivery guy came.
tsk. suay/heng?

ate & changed.
then went to type stuffs for psb tee.
but not enough time so had to chiong for warm up.
THE SUN WAS FREAKING HOT.
but aft warm up we were like,
hmm.. not here yet?
& we filled our minds with fantasies:
cancelled? postponed? go home? ...
BUT, they were just late. -.-

before the match, tt gay sprained her ankle.
现在的同性恋阿。。。
then,
jnrs played then us, then jnrs, then us, .....
think we did well. :DDD
we managed the fastest centre pass-> goal
& a 10 secs overload.

HAHA. the lagging of time (so jian of me xD I LIKE.)
& i did the gayest of things.
maybe cause of the lack of gay on court tt day.
"来, ximin."
&& "来, quick set-up."
omggggggggggggggg. aft the lai ximin thingy,
i was like "omg, tt was so gay."
ximin & cyn stun diao.

& my shots got back on track. woo.
anyhow, we hadn't enough time for queensway,
so straight to kho's house.

waited outside her house for her.
leeyin brought dry mango, yayee.
& i bluetoothed casino royale to lee. lols.

HAHA christmas party was FUN.
& we laughed like siao.
ximin's indian poker. lol.
& my forfeit. very indianpoker~
"yello."

food was budget-ed lol
& kho's xmas tree was blinged.
gift exchange :DDDDDDD

then they started monopoly
while huang, chew & i used kho's com.
aft a while almost everyone was involved with our com madness.
HAHA. the classics. pure originality.
i bet we laughed so loud-alicious
tt the neighbours thought we were keesiao-princesses.
LOL. srry, couldn't resist flaming. x]

when my mom came to fetch me,
out of the yello-filled day,
i yello-ed to her. lol

then home & zzz.
tt's the end of a veh tiring day.

pics up nxt time.

rip your life away.

2007-12-20T22:06:00.000-08:00

Alright,
i'm goddamned displeased now okay.
maybe not to the extent of being pissed
but still, very unhappy.

Please DO NOT rip fr me.
one of the things i hate most is ppl ripping fr me.
its fking irritating i swear.

& you're ripping fr me directly?
how nice.
do get your own life & words.

kay wtvr, you ain't the worst mood-ruiner yet.

tmrrw,
uniformed reg.
wtf. like our jobs don't beat your...
they never can right?
you won't ever let tt happen anw.

sighs, tmrrw will be hell of a long day.
but there's netball christmas party at night (:

the fact tt i finally replied you
doesn't give you the right to think you're back in control.

"your shots have dropped drastically."

2007-12-19T22:58:00.000-08:00

hey ppl.

i'm blogging.
in case KHO complains tt i don't agn.
HAHA.

today had friendly with st margs, VJC & CJC.
i guess its supposed to be
the continuation of the "14th dec carnvial".
LOL. yes, tt veh creative & accurate one.

think i did okay for the first few halves.
we played 8 halves in all.
think i could only last till the 4th game.
then my play dropped aft tt.
sat out for 3 halves cause of my wrist.
sian, i couldn't shoot.
& sorry lx, had to make you play two on one. ):
ah yes, tks to the VJC GK too. :DDD

aft tt was free flow~ as usual.
haha KFC.
buddy meal with puah. :]

before leaving,

xian nu got creative & artistic

& started ~~wasting~~utilising ketchup

for her master piece.

behold: tikko (aka thhhezzzz) smiley

then lee/w & i went to the busstop.
home aft tt.
(srry, this post's a bore.)

i'd love you.
as a best friend.
tt'd be great.

shitzxc LOL.

2007-12-17T23:05:00.000-08:00

hey ppl.

today was really fun.
haha actually more of funny.
most of the time we'd be laughing away.

morning: trng.
fitness. like zomg.
damn hiong.
& we went totally drenched for psl attendance taking.
then changed and all.

back to own class to apparently "clean up".
but nth much so slacked & talked.
poor shawn.
he's either junhao's new wife or slave.
i can't see the diff actually. lol

then com contact session.
nth much to say & weichen had a detailed intro of himself.
but he was really nice to bring back souvenirs. (:
crapped a lil & off to lt 2 for briefing.

LALALALA~
shitzxc. LOL.
i was doing lessons of life & lx drawing meaningful characters.
cool stuffs.
then break & dry run for games.

we were pretty darn enthu.
we acted like really enthu sec ones.
class AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.... A! haha lame cheer.
but we kept cheering & all.

games were fun.
of course, with the playing within the rules deal.
technically no infringement of any rules.
"no running round in threes"
we walked/hopped.
"cannot touch the strings, or you'll needa start over."
i'm at the starting line, i can molest the strings all i want.
HAHA & many more.
classic kp.
VERY FUN.

mass dance in the hall was fast.
like zoom zoom & we're done.
not veh etched on our minds but due to time constraints
(like always) bo bian.
but we almost laughed our heads off.
weichen, alvin, lixuan & me. & maybe jing qin. lol

then cheering.
oh & wtf. if you're louder,
do try coming to all of us & do a better cheer.
nice one back there lx (:
mass cheering.
& we love the sweeping cheer.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

we helped to carry some chairs
& home aft tt.

since you've alrdy confirmed my feelings,
then why shld i doubt them anymore?
I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror,
didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could
Stop, admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind.

traces of my teardrops.

2007-12-16T23:06:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to say.

today's been a rough day.
a very rough day.

D:

retail therapy

2007-12-15T18:25:00.000-08:00

hey ppl.

its true.
shopping is the ultimate cure.
instant relief of pain fr heartbreak syndromes.

today wasn't technically called shopping for me.
but i was in a mall & i spent money.
lols. so yeah.

got some books fr the bookfest at expo.
& then some window shopping in suntec.
i bought a scarf! like finally.
nice & at a reasonable price.
HAHA reminds me of yesterday.
aft the games we were resting indoors.
then i wrapped my towel arnd my neck
so i won't lose it when runnning fr a shelter to another.
then cynthia was like "lol. estee, i know you want a scarf badly but..."
HAHAHAHA.

tmrrw: meeting.
ahh sian. D:

anw pics of day3 & 4 of perth are up. (:

there's nth for me to hinder now.
i shld have been straightforward all along.
now you know.
now then you know.
but what's the full story?
you're clueless & waiting for the ans.
it'll nv come. i gurantee.
with my life.

shoot to your death.

2007-12-14T23:18:00.000-08:00

hey ppl.

went to watch 'trick or threat' last night
with yijin, xiaoxu, glennis, chingyee,
junming, jiahao, weihao, yuejun & brian.

it was cool,
the acting was professional & damn funny at times.
it was interactive as well.
so they'll act out a scene &
when they act it out the second time arnd,
you can alter wtvr you're buay song of.
but, you've gotta get into the actors' shoes & act it out.

on the pamphlet, there was 'RA sins'.
okay, i just realised it sounds like rasins.
BUT BUT the main point yest was:
the guys hot liao.
haha they were rather excited when they saw it.

aft the show, we went to citylink to supposedly get a drink.
on the way, brian was telling us jokes.
his kinda jokes (with the stuffs know?).
& it was goddamned LOUD. zomg

haha then yijin& xx were like "cannot, citylink got bomb!"
LOL. cause the show was abt terrorism.
anyhow, we still had a LONG walk to 7 eleven.
then took the mrt with them home.

meanwhile,
brian showed us loads of short vids.
LOL. NO, srry. they weren't porn.
just some lame/funny vids.

today...
i've not much mood to talk abt today.
we realised tt it wasn't just smgs we were playing with.
it was some kinda carnival.
HAHA. the "14th DEC carnvial".
how creative & accurate in the spelling. tsk.

summary of play:
everyone felt really heavy.
(cynthia felt dead gradually. lol hands--> legs--> totally dead)
play was okay aft the first half or smth.
my shots were like fk.
i've nv had such low aura before.
or rather, NO aura at all.
warm up shooting was good,
but just couldn't shoot during the games.
even when i changed angles & dist. to shoot,
REBOUNDS were what i got. wtf.

oh well,
i'll be back.
i've done it before & will rise once agn fr my jiang hu (lol)
estee will be back with 93%.

book-spree tmrrw (:

new weights zomg.

2007-12-12T23:44:00.000-08:00

heyy ppl.

today was supposed to be court work.
but it rained & all
so helped ms loo get some equipment fr the pe store
& went to foyer to do speed work.

the walk fr the gym to the pe store was LOL.
clau & i shared an umbrella, hoching, hanni & ximin the other.
we just kept laughing all the way.
i srsly dunno why.
even at the pe store we continued.
& rach tried to trip ppl. ._.
so ms loo asked why we laughed nonstop since morning.
then,
WE CONTINUED TO LAUGH.
HAHAHA.

okay,
then did agility with the ethels.
lol. go pole dance with them in the gym,
they're sooooo ethel.
HAHA, real one cannot arh!

aft tt did new weights prog.
there's dead lift. zomgggggg
abs stuffs just got tougher.

shooting aft tt,
slightly less than 50 for horse partner & me each.
then we all slacked round canteen & rushed to vivo.

caught the golden compass.
quite laggy but the effects were cool.
& tt veh veh veh abrupt end.

we walked arnd for gift ideas & i dragged them to diva
& next the cocoa trees.
hanni & i waited for tudi to arrive with the ball
& home.

going for the 'trick or threat' tmrrw with the looneylunatics.
& smgs friendly the very next day.
omgzxczxczxc

btw, more pics on perth to come at my livejournal. ty (:

PERTH!

2007-12-11T17:21:00.000-08:00

heyy ppl.

yes, the wait's over!
i'm here to post abt perth.
okayy, maybe you didn't even wait. -.-

perth was cool.
literally. but with only my team jacket, i survived.
& aft the trip,
we became pro fly swatters.
or rather we do the action out of imagination.
imagination of the flies which get attracted to
YOU; & not food, dung, yadayada.

plus,
they've got great clouds and a clear blue sky.
veh veh pretty.

we've understood each other much more.
we've found out many things abt each other on/off court.
lil things such as the major fear of bugs (raise eyebrows),
the high pitch attained in screams,
the many talents/methods of camwhoring,
the unglamness on court
& the kind & veh jovial nature of jldoubo.

awesome trip
packed with morning runs,
other runs,
tough matches,
friendly australians,
& starburst.

rvnb is LOVE.

details at http://chinleestee.livejournal.com/

& i didn't switch blogs. (:

8 hiong days.

2007-12-10T23:14:00.000-08:00

yo ppl.

i'm back.
actually, i was back on sat.
had loads of things to do aft tt
so no time to blog.

i went for rehearsals at arnd 4pm aft arriving on sat
& yest was the performance.
went through only 2 practises (aft 1 month or so) before
BAM! the performance.
hiong right?

anw,
went to sch today for psl agm.
was really tired but the meeting was quite productive.
brain zapping cause of the numerous impromptu-s.
zomg-ly thrilling but i got totally shagged aft the meeting.
OH YES, & hungry. lol

went to long beach seafood restaurant for dinner today.
very much filling
with the crabs bigger than an average head (or at least mine).

alright,
i shall do a proper post abt perth another time.
so many pictures, so lil space.

i don't get how you still cling on
when obviously i've let go alot.
i find it funny how you're oblivious abt the fact
that i'm not who i used to be.
i'm pissed at how you think there's nth wrong
& continue to be tacky and annoying.
PLEASE, wake up alrdy.
i wished i could put it through clearly,
but the words get stuck beneath my throat every time.

off for eight days.

2007-11-29T19:03:00.000-08:00

hello.

haha serious start.
*coughs*
alright, so
i'll be away for 8 days.
netball trip to perth.
will be back on the 8th of Dec
so no blogging till then.
unless....
we hack ___'s laptop & kope wireless.
HAHA.

so yes, w/o my com,
i'd be cut from humanity,
socialising,
what nots.
everything would be team.team.farm animals.& trng.

hopefully i'd be back with photos.
claudia! *raise eyebrows tikko-ly*
haha & souvenirs & stuffs.

tonight at approximately 2230hrs,
i might be seen lugging a bag loaded
with a string of netballs + other equipments
at changi airport.
how unglam with a luggage to manage as well.

right... i just realised
this post is a total bore -.-

so the point is,
see you guys when i'm back (:

Au revoir

twit-out.

2007-11-27T23:42:00.000-08:00

yo peeps.

today was a much slacker trng.
weights at 11 then slight court work.
hmm was satisfied.
cause finally can practise passes to middies.
as in specialised trng.
:DDD

then helped with deflating the netballs to be brought to perth
& some souvenir chaos.
LOL. & they bullied us (rach, hoching, hanni & me)
but once ms loo came,
settled.
guailan rite?

nvm, so walked up-hill with hanni,
& we laughed like mad.
unglam-ness, spotted by ms loo. LOL

aft tt,
went to taka with mom to get jeans & stuffs for perth.
& we were craz-zay shoppers,
on a mad shopping hunt.
lols, okayy we just windowshopped loads.
as insane as we shopped,
it was unproductive. -.-
cause i only got perth stuffs.

oh, met cyn, lx, clau & ethel at pull&bear.
HAHA clau has almost the same hairstyle as me now.
then, they left.
had dinner with mom & home aft tt.

thurs=perth.
packing=0.
kay, i did get some stuffs done. :)
like netball file, supplies.. yadayada.

twit madness.
ultra-ly thrilling.

i've lost everything i had once for you.
guess there's 8 days i can think clearly with.
maybe its the end tmrrw, or aft 8 days?

chalet.

2007-11-25T23:10:00.000-08:00

yo peeps.

just back fr class chalet.
actually it's 4 days (fri to mon)
but i only went for half a day.
which is today at arnd 4pm.
.__.

okayy,
so the chalet was great.
the place is cool.
its a bungalow, so has got a veh homey feeling.
lols. & its BIG BIG BIG.
there's almost a balcony in every corner.
& yes, many many doors.

so i kicked start with learning mahjong.
HAHA. so now i know the basics.
& pls do not swindel a begginner. thank you.
with help, i actually won 3 games.
(out of many. lol skip this. )
& yuejun is god.
HAHA where ever he stands, the person beside would win.
weihao was doing rubrics cube while playing. pro.
but he nv won. LOL

then aft tt lagged awhile,
& played hide and seek.
yes, i know what you're thinking.
but we actually managed to find rm to hide.
EVEN yijin & me.
it was hilarious. took many unglam photos.
HAHA.

then i left at 9.
sian,
tmrrw course & trng.
i've yet to pack for perth.
:/

how can you be there
when i'm let down
all the time i decide to hold on.
i shld have let go long ago.
cause now my end of the bungee is gonna snap.

just cause i feel tt i owe you.
i just owe you.

stop acting like you know me.

2007-11-23T22:58:00.000-08:00

FK.

you don't even know me fr the start.
i regret badly, i really do.
it was all a rash mistake.
aft so many months you still don't know me.
forget abt asking other ppl how i feel
& act like you know me more than myself.
even a norm friend knew smth was wrong.
distance now is inevitable.
& soon, maybe my departure.

just a laze.

2007-11-20T23:47:00.000-08:00

i've been thinking alot these few days.
okayy, i think alot my whole lifetime.
not saying tt i'm conscious of every single thing
tt i think tt much.
& not like i come up with solutions to everything
& contribute to humanity or smth.

sometimes i think tt wtvr tt goes through my brain
gets knotted up.
unless its flaming of course, it comes naturally.
i think i think & i re-think.
of all the situations and reactions,
i think over & over.

i think myself to sleep,
i think once i get up in the morning,
i think when i'm eating (rather than concentrate on the taste),
i think when i bathe,
i think everywhere.every now. every then.

but sometimes,
what's the use of thinking so much
when there's no fullproof resolution.

hmm but thinking sure helps me comment
on things, ppl, stuffs & other stuffs.
lol. maybe tt's not good, for some ppl.

anw,
tt was just useless thinking of my thinking (once agn).
you'd be proposing critical thinking huh?

i've been wanting to blog these few days.
but whenever i arrive at the 'create post' pg,
i stare blankly at the huge empty box.
then i leave it to surf other pages.
then when i'm ready to shut down,
i revisit this pg.
then i get bored & [x] it.
:/

yes, on another random note,
waiting for life-depending things are veh nerve racking.
seriously.
i nearly died waiting & wating.
initially i was filled with hope & excitement.
then the siansation creeps in.
then the despair...
& so on.

predictable same methods.
shallow.

hygiene & comfort.

2007-11-17T22:10:00.000-08:00

(longggg post ahead.)
yo peeps.

i'm back fr psl camp.
explains the lack of posts these few days.
actually camp ended yest,
was just too tired & lazy to post. (as usual)

HAHA. for this camp,
my bag was liek super light.
but had to huddle a sleeping bag & a netball.

1st day of camp (thurs):
netballers went for trng 1st.
so yes, we ponned a good deal of course.
lol. bo bian mah xP not like it was intentional (?)
haha then when alvin came to bring us up
(yes, veh dua pai of us.)
we went to lt 3 for the remaining amt of course.

course:
i'm speechless luhh.
"dun judge/compare. everyone's the same. same value."

srsly, dun judge but when you see hanni,
you say "you've a really friendly smile.melts my heart"
tikko much?
NO, tt's not judging. nope its not.
if you say hanni's friends have got nice smiles
still not tt bad. xD jkjk.

we gave guilan ans.s during grp discussion.
lol. netballers + huiying.
then came the game which took us almost one hour.
it was kinda cool but veh tedious.
debrief aft tt was fking crap.
but every psl shared logical thoughts.
unlike:
"XXX sch completed in 1 hr, let's see how long you take."
NOPE, not judging once agn. not at ALL comparing rite?
followed up with further impractical cliches.
OBVIOUSLY some ppl dunno what's
specialisation & effective sharing & compiling.
aft breaking up into consise & accurate grps,
you can NEVER merge back into one for greater results.
nice life rules preached to us huh?
wtf. lol

then dodge ball. cool :))
weichen asked me to relax cause i kept hurling
balls non stop. lol.

amazing race aft tt.
i must say, its cool.
the clues were challenging but well thought off.
& kendrick was really really nice.

then makan cheer & of course makan.
lol to the strong opposing force.
gd food from mdm chan :DDD
THANK YOU.

aft tt was dead silence screening in lt 3.
lixuan, hanni, szefan & i hid at the back of the lt.
sat on the floor & watched parts of the movie
with a curtain of chairs blocking our view. lol
sf was telling us loads of supernatural & paranormal stuffs.
hanni was burrying her head in her tee & ms mar thought ~
lol. then the atmosphere was cultivated for night trail.

night trail:
weichen.szefan.lixuan.hanni.me.
i was equipped with my unicorn tee. lol
& we had torches & our blutoothed life-sources.
we sat down on the slope with performing block on one side & lt 4/5 on the other.
yesssss. the dirtiest place in sch.
apparently we forgot tt note.

then suddenly whilst we were chatting frightfully,
a lorry seemed to charge towards us. (but it was outside)
then lx screamed & siam-ed.
it was damn infectious.
we ALL jumped up & siam-ed & SCREAMED.

aft being scared out of our wits we returned to our positions.
then i suggested to karaoke.
blasted rock music.
& we spammed the night with our singing.

then returned to lt 3 to get stuff & washed up.
settled down in the hall to sleep aft tt.
actually we wanted to kope the king size mattress
BUT kind souls we are,
so sticky& smelly gym mats for us.
lol. imagine how many forward rolls have been done on them.
xD anws talked a lil to excos then we crapped a lil ourselves.

it was fking cold w/o sleeping bag/blanket.
i koped 3 shirts as covers but not long enough.
& we felt really sticky. haha
anws, comical stuffs happened during the night luh.
like livia wanting to go to the toilet
& my suntanning style of sleeping while smiling.
LOL.

then went for trng aft breakfast.
i was totally drained of energy.
& was damn du diao due to the lack of quality sleep & hygiene.
went back for lunch. timing damn zhun. lol

aft tt was station games.
HAHA fun :))
some were weird.
they claimed one would be my fav but my grp skipped part of it due to tea break.
then ate & packed & home straight...
TO BATHE FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.
haha.

overall,
this camp was fun, with good food, sticky bodies, a cold night & a gd time with psls.
excos did great & alvin looked like he didn't have to sleep.

yayee for my grp as well x]
BASEMENT THREE:
exco: kendrick tay
drivers: xiu yin
shawn sim
wen hui
darren tien
zheng xiao
me.

& cynthia arh. where's the 7.2 meg? xP

4825 xD

2007-11-13T23:56:00.000-08:00

heyy ppl.

you might find tt all i blog abt is
netball.netball.flamingtxt.& more netball.
yes, i've got no life.
but the ~~gossipping~~socialising has yet to seize.
xD

okay,
so today there was a change of fixtures.
we played with tanglin thrust instead of amk.

my GKs were really nice.
taaaalll as well.
think we played alright.
yupp, my shots improved.
but movements were mundane.
like keep doing the same things.
then when i get the ball at the same spot agn,
will be like
"ai yoh, sian diao."
oh well, other than tt not bad play fr us.
hmm, & didn't clash with rach once agn.
LOL. tyco?
but we all believe tt tyco is a skill right?
x]

hmm this time i didn't shan dao yao,
neither did i shan dao neck.
haha lucky?
NO.
i glided over some sweat on the alrdy slippery floor
and it looked like i did a half-side-split.
lol. yes veh unglam.
& i couldn't run/shoot tt well
aft tt misfortunate slip.
sian luh, but us bench family united tgt at the 4th quarter.
excluding hanni.

them some random games aft tt.
like touch rugby, dog & bone?!? lol. bball.
but i talked to sarah.
& we felt friends~ behind our bench.
actually we felt it physically with our hands.
lol. & we laughed ALOT.
yeah tt's abt it & home aft tt.

oh yes,
the aloe vera & eucalyptus cream did wonders.
my sunburnt areas didn't hurt tt much today.
haha. yayee.

eeew gross. fuggly fuggly fingers.
screw off whore.

dispatched.

2007-11-12T23:59:00.000-08:00

today was way weird.

a veh strained contrast of emotions,
i can say.
it was tensed yet fake.

anw,
the seven of us who went for forca
were struggling to do weights today.
our sunburns majorly got us
howling for eucalyptus gel/cream.
lol. kidding.
we just couldn't do weights w/o grumbling in pain.

then aft weights went to canteen.
chatted with dancers :DDD
& of course the psls. (excos)
not bad. but flameflameflame.
could see EVERY SINGLE ONE of the excos
striving hard for the camp.
jiayousss guys! :]

hmm then got sian & gastric.
so left for home.

you can't complain abt smth
when you step out of it.
cause now you're completely like him.
i dislike ppl who act frail & pathetic.
FYI i wun pity you in any way alright?

amk tmrrw.
sunburn.
we're so screwed for it.
fk this whole issue abt leadership.

& if i get contacted/contact ppl tmrrw,
i'd probably scream across the court.
i can't even move my arms
not failing to feel the burning sensation.

jiayous horse partner.
stay fruitful! lol.

sweat your hearts out for charity.

2007-11-11T23:41:00.000-08:00

heyy peeps.

today is 11/11.
hell yeah~

anws,
today was forca 07
at bishan park 1.
yes, there is a park 2!
HAHA.

okay so we were quite sian in the morning.
we reached at 7.30am.
cause our game starts at 8.
but in the end lag for 40mins.
-.-

team manager: rachel kho yee theng.
players: ho ching, claudia chew, tan xi min,
rachel kho, ethel huang, puah li xuan, estee chin.
team name: RV netball.
(like it could have been more creative rite?)

think it was okay,
just a lil too muddy.(at the start)
then hmm,
we need more prominent offers,
definite passes,
tighter defense,
much better shooting.

pressure was good,
HAHA imba takes and all
but i didn't shan dao yao. xD
we got third for U17 anws.
yayee. got $$ agn. :DDD
another shopping experience awaits us.
wrist bands to wipe our mouths claudia?
LOL.

aft tt had to wait for GOH to come.
& as we all know, GOHs are always late.
dua pai dua pai.
so we went round & round for food and games.
aft prize presentation & stuffs.
we totally went arnd qiao zha-ing stores.
LOL.
they played twister.
i took care of our assets & took unglam pics.
woohoo, tt's what i always do anw.
& we found a RV snr(graduated 5 yrs ago)
mending a darts booth.

today we sweated laughed & laughed more for charity.
lol. we just laughed alot luhh.

i've got a slight headache now,
guess fr all the exposure to the sun today.
sian, we're all like cooked lobsters now.

trng tmrrw.
pfft.

hmm

2007-11-10T21:50:00.000-08:00

heyy peeps.

okayy, long time no post agn.

past few days were kinda ._.
lotsa stoning,
thinking,
confusion,
siansation,
lagging,
& wtvr you can think off tt suits this genre.

yesterday:
battlefront was a kickass 3hrs (?)
started out jumpy & flame-y.
nearing the end,
(though we thought there was really NO end to it)
i got damn du diao.
so kiao ka listen.

i was really turned off aft tt.
went to shoot a lil.
shots were amateur fk.
nvm, then went home.
shaggggggg like hell.

but i had a gd deal of ALONE time on the bus back home.
a fairly long bus ride home.
at least it felt longgg.
i was the the only one (with an ah pei)
on the upper deck of 93.
stoned but to think.
it's rare tt i have time to settle & really think hard.
reflected on the day's processions (though it was just 12+pm then)
& the behaviour of ppl (esp. at the battlefront).
contradiction of character, interests & aims.

hmm,
i came up with 7 life aphorisms at the battlefront.
yijin was like.. flaming?
HAHA. no, life lessons yijin :))
lol.

trng was blank.
it didn't feel good.
AT ALL.
sighs :/

well, of course there were some flips for the day.
LIKE:
i tucked in before the mtg.
like omfg yes.
HAHA.
& its always nice & fun with the psls.
:DDD

oh yes,
ppl who display themselves of higher rank
and minds of higher sophistry
& who flash smirks
TOTALLY TURN ME OFF.

goodie, smth to blog bout

2007-11-07T13:46:00.000-08:00

yo peeps.

i've been lagging arnd again.
okayy, like always. xP
i'm here today cause someone gave me smth to blog abt.
& tt's not smth to celebrate abt.
maybe its nice for the victims.
enjoy, especially son. lol.
anws, i decided tt tt bastard's significance ain't
tt noteworthy so i shan't dedicate a whole to IT.

let's talk abt netball first.
anti climax as usual.
practised my shots on mon.
they were atrocious.
omfg, i was like worrying for yest's match.
luckily yest's match was okayy.
think i was rusty fr not playing the AIS match.
sian diao. & i can't shoot with the silver pole.

worked with rach for the first time.
horse partner.
not bad HAHA.
we didn't clash at all.
& both of us: shots fly, person also fly.
paiseh, direct translation fr chinese.
ren fei, qiu ye fei.
its either you fly matrix style outta court
or keep getting knudged on ground.
i'm sure the defenders were feeling the
hard oncoming play as well.

_______________________________

now for the serious badass flaming.
dedicated to the BIG FAT FKER.
in this case, literally.

nobody gets away with flaming ME or MY friends
on public materials however personal the touch is.
like wtf.

you go arnd appearing all mighty
with power,
purity,
a sense of helping other less fortunate ppl
and responsibility
deserving of status and recognition.
lemme tell you, all you possess is size.

i beg your pardon,
ppl like us who are deprived of all your wonderful
leadership qualities feel utmost grattitude
for you to display your passion on blogs & such.
sharing with us the true meanings of being leaders
& how to be people in a community.
i'm veh sorry we lack the makings of a mfker.
perhaps cause our mothers nv taught us any of tt.
leaving us trully distraught & self-condemned.

& if i didn't know distinguishly,
a grp blog is not solely operated by who publicises the grp
IN ANY WAY.
hmm, maybe it is aft all.
when we get really BORED
and have nth else better to do.
we can drop by a flame or two for ppl
& leave a statement tt we've got
pride & responsibility & contribution to the grp.
if our jobs were tt easy, it'd be great.
& not falter to this state for
my friend & i to renovate.
tyvm.

hmm and if i've not got amnesia,
OUR magnificent leader w/o flaws didn't operate it much
when he had a say in it.
well, who was it anw?
why don't you tell me since
you frequent the blog so much & keep it going.

being a fker on one blog is pretty much enough.
but being a fker on another is way sufficient.
well, he has enough fk to go arnd yo.
keep it alive arsehole.

you wanna create a matter to talk abt
using your superior techniques in flaming,
ONCE AGAIN.
& you come up with some crap
which is a clear accusation of someone.
come on luh,
only come talk to us when you've got substantial
points and arguments.
cause now you just look like some menopausal hag
finding smth to bitch abt.

when you find tt nobody's on your pathetic side,
you totally contradict your statements & retrieve.
hah puh-lease.
crummy much?

if you can't define love/passion for smth
do think clearly what you'd like to put across in PUBLIC.
or maybe we just don't understand your
overpowering sense of commitment
& are unfit to even defend our own
integrity,
generousity,
muturity,
belonging
and sanity.
all opps of what tt bastard claims of us.

if you take a GOOD look arnd,
you'd probably realise nobody is exactly
fond of your actions.
okayy, or maybe YOU.
quit being a fker going arnd
with your plastic face
trying to spread love and care.
if you're trying to mend friendships or anything,
you ain't helping yourself in any way.

CAUSE EVEN I'M PISSED NOW.

crawling up reluctantly to blog

2007-11-03T23:18:00.000-07:00

yow peeps.

i'm being extremely gracious to blog today.
since i'm really really lazy to do so.
i've been procrastinating.
so i'm here to serve my sentence.

hmm actually i had lots to say.
its when you're lagging & lazing arnd
tt you think deeply abt random stuffs.
& you come up with random theories & sorts
but they are logical.
unless you drool abt zac efron kissing you or what luh.
tt i can't confirm :X

BUT, its when you decide to note them down
tt you forget ALL of your axioms.
& life example right here, right now.
xP
anti-climax

i can't give aphorisms but i'll just spill the dirt.
thurs was a hiong day.
weights.courtwork.match with AIS.
like zomg can.
somemore for weights lx, cyn, rach & i did the one with lunges.
wtf luhh, still have to shoot during game.
court trng wasn't tt tiring.
but i couldn't drive to my max.
& i was downright suckish.
NO, i'm not a hypocrat
who does fine but says "damn, i suck."
i srsly did badly.
sian diao luh,
& seeing others do well makes me think ALOT.

i feel a clash of emotions.
a part of me feels glad we're doing well.
another part's saying
"you're right to feel inferior. cause you can't & don't do well.
look at the others, they do perfectly fine.
why can't you? cause you're lazy or you're just scared?"
& i ask myself hell of a ton of Q.s
& i think of every cause& effect.

actually was gonna play GS for the game
but i felt really wrong to go on to court
not being able to put up my best play
(cause of my hip. arrhhh)
so i backed out.
watched. benched. observed. thought.
once agn,
the bench provides me with a fluctuating surge of feelings.
i feel relaxed(tt i wun mess up)
& yet restless (cause i'm stuck with stats feeling inferior).
glad tt we won,
but also defeated tt i didn't help in any way.

first ever game i'm being benched throughout 4 quarters.
its relieving tt you dun have to face the pressure playing,
but also disgruntling tt you're stuck on a bench
equipped with a paper and pen.

you'd say :
why the fk feel inferior?
(take shooting for eg.)
if you practise enough, you can take any shot.
why be scared?

well, i shoot, i practise, i shoot more.
(not as much as rach luh.)
BUT my shot can't get in whatsoever.
if i'm not disheartened, it'd be wierd.

"just shoot. shoot shoot shoot."
i can't help to be slinged down by
the thought tt my teammates' hardwork would be wasted.
rebounding no prob but missing any shot is sad rdy.

"when you think you can't, you can't."
trust me, i've tried with full confidence.
it lets me down big time.

i've lost my aura at the very best.
its not just shots anymore, its getting to my play.
i'm as good as
a 1 feet tall kid at the $1= 3 tries game booth.
OR WORST.

but thanks anw rachel.
you were the only one who gave me
constructive encouragement.
:DDD
& i'm veh veh veh grateful of what you said.
it did bring me slight confidence.
:]

du diao.
fk.

damn it.

2007-10-30T22:23:00.000-07:00

yo peeps,

i've been lagging arnd

not updating.

HAHA.

okayy,

went to sch last sat

for the hua yu qiao (?)

some chinese talent competition in lt 1.

chinese imbas luh xP

dione, ching yee & i were seperated fr the other 2L'ers.

cause of seating constraints.

so three lonely, solitary gossippers

banished to unfamiliar territory.

we were surrounded by imba chinese.

we were almost suffocating with all tt

chim, accurate, & did i mention chim? chinese.

omfg.

haha, & ching's fav finger was appearing oftenly.

apparently intentional???

xD you know us luhh. lol

aft the competition we went for buffet,

& yet another round at the foyer.

HAHA vip vip.

then xsao's hair was loved by the 'welcoming commitee'.

or rather only one person & his rm.

dua pai arhh.

HAHA then we went to vivo for LATE lunch.

scavenged not for food,

but for space to even deposit our asses.

sian diao.

so finally settled down at kopitiam.

yuejun attacked a huge plate of noodles

& within mins, it was clean.

went home aft tt.

haha loo balls got competition liao.

HAHA later those bastards get ganged.

i'm sure chingyee would be enlightened.

MON:
trng, haha but weights only.
shuang! but sian diao rdy.

today:
some netball comp.
i didn't know till my defender told me.
LOL. yeah anws, hiong play.
before tt hiong trng. omgggggggg
& i twisted sprained my back.
but the pain's at the hip. :/

lived with it throughout trng & the match,
till last 5 mins of the last quarter,
it felt like smth's fking piercing my hip.
& i felt tt i couldn't focus anymore
cause of the immerse, internal pain.
my thoughts were like barging at each other aimlessly
like headless houseflies in my brain.
so it was imperative tt it'd be better tt i let someone else play.
yayee rach! :DDD

when i timed out,
my shirt was drenched beyond drenched.
& hanni said i was like an aircon.
i spread cool air fr my icy cold sweat & body.

anyhow,
i'm having an icepack pressed agnst my hip now.
HAHA, & yes, i'm typing with one hand.
D: rach was suggesting i tie it to me.
HAHA innovative.
cast better, ethel?
x]

part.

2007-10-26T23:41:00.000-07:00

today's a _____ day.
fill in the blank with wtvr word you like.
many would say sad, sorrowful, nostalgic.
others maybe joyous cause of hols.
i wouldn't celebrate it cause
hols are jam-packed with trng & hwk.
brilliant.

I love 2L right fr the start.
cause we've always been one class,
one really bonded class.
a class i've nv had before.

ppl say its when you lose smth,
you gain passion in it,
or rather you realise & regret
you've not been really involved in it.

well, for 2L,
i'd beg to differ.
2L has always been right on top
of the prospect of my life,
2L is not part of my life,
its my life!

when smth has been in your heart fr the start,
losing it hurts more.
cause you've always been tt close to tt matter.
& you've lost smth you wun gain no more,
rather than feeling the guilt & regret.

today was 'spring' cleaning,
some report distribution,
class vids,
we shan't mention the population which teared.
okayy, i just did. :X
then speeeeeeeeccccccccccchhhhhh (consider the long emphasis)
prize presentation(intro to imba ppl)
mdm chan's official retirement ceremony
psl AGM.
weights,
then courtwork at ccab.

2L would always remain untouched in my heart.
cause its inked upon every chamber of it.
i'd miss you guys so much.

2L`ohseven. looney lunatics. we dare to be different.

chaletchaletchalet

gift fr above

2007-10-25T23:34:00.000-07:00

heyy.

today's slightly better.
a slight tinsy winsy bit.
cause i received stuffs fr above.
lol sounds wrong.
point to note: it ain't wrong.
:DDD
damn, ppl thought i went nuts.
HAHA.

flipside:
didn't get to tell ms loo personally abt the missing netball.
but sms-ed her instead.
:/
i might just get slaughtered tmrrw at trng.

learning symp was ...
haha haunted house shld be the hottest choice.
excluding the fact tt they have massive queues,
ethel brought milo & stuffs back.
luxurous or what?

jungle tribe all sian diao.
koping our own sweets
lagging our youths away.
lols.
well, i did spend a gd deal of time with orh lang.
haha, otherwise known as cheryl's black octopus soft toy.
:]

briefing briefing yada yada,
i was too occupied & overwhelmed by gastric anyways.
then we finally got the buffet.
but my gastric spoilt my appetite
so only a few strands of noodle for me.
& lotsa drinks.

lil psl meeting aft sch.
we had great fun,
other than being kp-ed in the lib.
lol, & we had gd ~~guailan~~ comebacks.
we laughed like woahhh.
it was good, it was good.
:DDD

tmrrw might not be nice.
-considering tt we'd have to control all tears
& hold our guts back.
-hiong trng as well, weights & court (w/o my netball)
-talks & stuffs.
-psl agm(i dunno how i'd feel)

wtf.

dang.

2007-10-23T23:53:00.000-07:00

today was a total contrary to yest.
screwed up big time.
srsly.
& i thought life would entertain me today
just like yest.

i've got no mood to continue.
shall end here abruptly.
maybe i'll go into details nxt time.

in short:
-mom's back, with nagging salutary as well.
-abadoned my dearest phone at home (yes, my life!)
-screwed match
-donated $1 to SBS agn.
-seemingly lost my netball at ccab.
-my legs ache like fk.
-owe ppl too much $$ today

worst has yet to come:
tmrrw,
-6.50am fitness run (with 30secs improvement)
-learning symp (hiong painting)
-weights
-hunt for my netball
-enrichment(ponning since godknowswhen)

:DDD

2007-10-22T22:45:00.000-07:00

yo peeps.

today is a cheery day.
lol. cause everything seemed to beam at me.
even the most unexpected ppl,
guess she was in a good mood as well :]

in the morning i thought tt there was no reply.
D:
but haha as today's theme has suggested,
everything went smooth.
oh yeah~

sch ended at 12 and classes were pleasant.
listen to birds chirp,
embrace the scent of the blossoming flowers,
let the calm wind brush your skin.
maybe a lil too peacful
but you get it.
xP

i was getting into the whole poetry mood
during lang arts.
gosh & i got so caught up
i talked like ppl fr the macbeth times.
lol ching yee says i'll get over it some time.

i actually dedicated/sacrificed/(any dramatic word you prefer)
my whole break to shoot.
cause it was raining this morning.
boohoo.
but shooting was fine,
with my right socks.
:DDD

art was major slackage.
lol everyone to a com,
what else can we do?
lol.
bilandsis was hilarious eh?

aft tt went to ikea with gossipping kakis,
nope, not jungle tribe.
then we walked round & round & round.
was kinda cool (i mean ikea, not the aimless walking)
so we ended up lugging round with big bags like taitais.
correction: taitais' maids.
taitais dun carry their own shopping bags, mind you.

then hotdog buns aft tt.
HAHA the others had theirs spammed with mustard.
then we saw this guy,
amusing i must say.
simply epic i tell you,
you can get the full-length story fr me.
anti-climax i know xD

i was trully entertained at ikea.
hmm so yes,
tmrrw:
1)helping out with learning symp stuffs.
ehhhh~ cid mate HAHA.
2)lil bit of home econs.
3)friendly with nanhua.

ohoh, i targetted a new phone rdy.
and a new bag.
lol. online shopping is da therapy.

keep your hands & mind off

2007-10-20T23:28:00.000-07:00

heyy peeps.

i'm bored sick today.
literally.
since i missed the psl workshop today
cause of flu,
i pretty much did nth but rot at home.
heard fr cid mate tt the workshop was crapping fun.
cause everyone was crappy.
lols.
jin says there are useful stuffs :]

kay,
while rotting at home,
i found a new FOB song.
-maybe not tt new.
long title,
gd vid though :]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBDnkJ5h1ho

Well there's a million other girls who do it just like you
Looking as innocent as possible to get to who
They want it what they like, it's easy if you do it right

I never meant to brag
But I got him where I want him now
it was never my intention to brag
To steal it all away from you now
But God does it feel so good
'Cause I got him where I want him right now
And if you could then you know you would

I watched his wildest dreams come true
Not one of them involving you

fragments of misery business.
they mean hell of an allusion.
hmm, no.
its an absolute threat.

& you know who you are.

jungle tribe love

2007-10-19T23:55:00.000-07:00

yo peeps.

had weights today.
shot a lil before and aft.
weights was... norm? i suppose :/
just tt i was told to do lunges at a slower spd.
MUCH slower speed.
apparently knees & shoulders are neglected.
brilliant.

shooting was as good as shooting while having fainting spells.
it sucked like fk.
okayy, my shots were fking horrendous.
i got really pissed at times
& i nearly tore down the pole.
fkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfk.
i hate it when my aura comes &
scampers off rapidly.
D:

flipside,
vivo with jungle tribe was great!
yayee :]
we shopped.gv-ed.ate.shopped.
we attempted to lunch at food republic before the movie,
but it was cramped like the great singapore sale.
no visible/available seats AT ALL.
so nvm, we decided to just snack.

we watched balls of fury.
HAHA cool show.
it was funny.
farrah was laughing.
why mention her?
cause she was the most prominent one.
xP
of course, we were all laughing luh.

aft tt was madness.
why?
went home with farrah.
bus interchange: 855.
& sadly i didn't have enough cash in my ezlink
& i thought i didn't have coins,
so i just dropped a $2 note into SBS's pocket.
farrah was like omg.
sighs, desperate times call for desperate measures.
cliche but true.
$2 lehhh! T.T

so we lagged a lil
& found out tt i actually had coins!
70cents in fact. wtf rite?
& we also found out tt 855 was going in an unusual direction.
hmm, so farrah rang her mom.
it seemed tt we took the wrong side.
so we got off.
YES, my $2 worth of less than a 10mins ride.
man, it can get you a full tour round singapore.

so we crossed over & looked up the board.
& we realised tt we were correct before.
du diao luh.
taking the wrong bus & throwing away $2 is sad enough.
taking the right bus but thinking otherwise & losing cash is sadder.
so we boarded another 855 & we reached home.
i'd like to think of myself as a veh charitable person now.
though my heart aches of the painful loss.
oh well, at least we're home now.
:]

so farrah & i had our own drama,
high capital drama kay!
xD

LOL. goshhhh

MERLIONSTER!

(koped off cheryl's blog. xP)

?.?

2007-10-18T23:58:00.000-07:00

yo peeps.

okayy, today was rawr-ish.
boring.boring.boring.
cause i didn't get to do lots.
):

for sci,
we watched this dinosaur documentary.
there were lotsa "eee", "eew", "mygod".
but i found it hilarious.
the way they pranced at each other,
especially the thin, jumpy, sissy ones.
lol. & the XXX-dog one.
the show depicts the cannibalistic nature
& characteristics of these prehistoric figurines.
kay, sadistic but wtvr.
they were kinda cute luh, seriously.

HAHA. & shuyinn and i can immitate the calls they make.
haha our norm cid communication method.
:DDD

okayy, for lang arts,
we got back our eoys compo & reader's response.
she criticised our... "careless & messy approach"
jiarong & i were like freaking out luh.
it kills when someone tempts you abt your papers
and say everyone is so screwed for them.
esp. when she said those who did the bloggers Q.
screwed up big time,
i was like omfg. i did tt Q.!!!!!!!!!!

then when we got them back,
cheh..... lol. not as bad as described luh.
i nearly got heart attack fr all tt drama luh xD

cid was ... o.O
nice kp-ing with jiahao & yuejun.
but the ____ were fking guailan.
which made us damn du diao.
what's new right?

maths was lol.
when there was finally sun,
we moved to the track.
then no sun agn.
lol. then everyone started playing.
we had GOOD view tho.
x]

then when mr lee summed up the class,
the sun came out conveniently,
glorifying the track with its majestic rays.
HAHA. till nxt lesson, shall the sun shine as bright.

swimming was sad.
cause i had gastric & could not enjoy
my LAST lesson with 'begginners'
D:
missed all the crapping & stuffs.
LOL. & yuejun pwns in acting noob for free style.
but the slack gang today was: chenyu, junhao, yijin & me.
we were chatting abt random stuffs,
& junhao commenting at erhhmm.... figures (as per usual).
then we helped the instructors write the certs.
so when you receive your certs,
bear in mind tt they're not tt official,
they were scribblings of some rvians, 14 of age.
unqualified of course,
furthermore having the profession of blowing bubbles.

weights tmrrw.
then vivo-ing with jungle tribe.
:] i hope i dun fall asleep
in the comfortable, airconditioned & did i mention comfortable
cinema.

fk face.

2007-10-16T23:48:00.000-07:00

i'm in a bad mood,
kay, a very very very bad mood.
when everyone's asking me to flame to reduce the tension,
who would have guessed tt i'd flame tt bastard back at home?

today's a weird day.
acting bimbo during home econs,
missing white & orange (sighs, deep deep sighs),
blahh-ish during trng cause of my shots.

& what's more?
i'm totally driven off the clift by tt bastard.
tyvm.
i love my life.

this time,
i've had enough.
enough of the crap shit tt he hurls at me.
i'm done.
done with him, done with this home.
why keep holding on when you're the only victim?
i've been stabbing myself knowingly,
& i keep going on.
cause i thought it'd be okayy if i held on.
guess what i held on to was my naive-ness.

you leave the entire house to rot like its none of your business.
if it ain't, why dictate it?
why appear like the boss when you don't even comprehend
a SINGLE thing abt it?
OR the ppl in it?

how many times did my mom TEACH you how the clothes are to be washed?
& every single time,
you nv fail to screw them up.
OH YES, MY CLOTHES.
this time, you dun even wash them.
how smart.
oh, it'd get washed, dried, iron-ed and folded magically,
by maria estee luh?
you can't even house-keep at all,
pls just stop screwing everything up for me.

& you have no position and authority to say i reach home late
when you reach home at fking 12am or not be home at all.
YOU HAVE NO SAY.
imagine reaching home aft a hard & demanding day
of surviving screwed ppl, doing screwed things,
then the first thing you're greeted with is
"why so late? why lag downstairs dun wanna come up?"
er like hello?
NO, its not raining like your mom's tears
of having such a retarded child.
NO, i did not have trng today.
NO, i enjoy coming home to see your handsome face.
newsflash, YOU CALL THIS A HOME?
& I CERTAINLY GET TURNED OFF WHEN I SEE YOUR FK FACE.

i'm texting and you come talk to me abt some..
i dunno cause i dun listen to let's say...
9/10 of the crap you preach.
& you come over and slide down my phone.
like wtf?
& it was a long msg, obviously not saved.
& i said fk in your face.
you totally freaked out & went
"watch your lang, when did you pick up those words?
i'm very disappointed."
earth to bastard!
i'm the one who lost like a msg spammed with words.
i'm the one who just got rudely brushed off.

hmm when did i change?
maybe you would know
if you were home more often.
maybe you would know
if you weren't stuck in your own autocratic world.
yes, ifs ifs ifs.

sorry i am so uncouth and
not as cultured as you.
not cultured enough to shout knn, dulan or fk in the phone.
i'm not polite enough to do tt,
like how you nail it.
i'm very disheartened and apologetic
tt i'm the biggest hope for abortion.
guess its too late eh?
but you've pretty much screwed up my life,
so you got back at my unworthy existence here.

i've decided to leave this home, this house to rot.
i'm tired of giving up on my own time.
i'm tired of giving in to you.
i'm tired of worrying abt things i'm not supposed to worry abt.
i'm tired of tollerating your fk subtly.
if you continue to live life like you're the centre of the universe
and my boss,
then i wish you the best of luck
before this home falters beyond maintenance & repair.

i finally realised tt i didn't screw my life up.
you did.
you're the one who's screwed.

& i thought i hadn't enough to worry & to be beleaguered bt.

tmrrw oh tmrrw x]

2007-10-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

omfg,
shuyinn is da best.

yes,
ILY x9832478917309218zxczxczxc
CID MATE.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

HAHAHHAHA x]

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO TMRRW.
M THUMBDRIVE IS AS WELL
:DDD

shuyinn is da best,
shuyinn is da ~~man~~gay,
shuyinn is absolutely, positively veh veh veh efficient.
shuyinn is my CID MATE.
LOL.

bad case nostalgia.
it isn't me at all.
i dunno who tt is when i stare into the mirror.
cause normally i'd give a zilian smile to the mirror,
jkjk.
but now,
i just turn away.

its scary enough i can dream of you,
its scary enough i get a gush of tears when your photos flash by me,
its scary enough i can stone all day thinking of you.
BUT wtvr i do,
you're nv coming back.

fking singtel filtering crap

2007-10-13T22:38:00.000-07:00

yo peeps.

i've not been updating,
i know.
& i don't feel good abt it either.
so i'm here today, right here, right now,
spending quality time with blogger.
& believe me,
it took all my skills of sian-ness-containing
to control the sian-ness i'm containing now.

why so sian you might ask?
cause cause tt fking singtel family filtering crap is not gone.
yes, my dad did ATTEMPT to do smth.
like woo, wow, woah.
but guess what?
the great part was: there was no outcome at all.

so yes, every time i visit esteedunnohowtoblog.blogspot.com,
i get tt red&white restricted pg smacked right in my face.
how not to be sian?

okayy, now for the real stuffs.
hmm, this week wasn't tt good.
i felt weird, really weird.
just like a sudden change in lifestyle.
i'm not tt sure either,
its like i can flare up on smth really easily,
most of the time cause kenna kp & what nots.
then i can just stone for a good deal of time.
dione, lx & many other ppl say i look suicidal :/
see, sian!

the worst thing is,
i'm like losing my appetite for food.
i dunno why as well.
its like i can't finish my meals
or just not eat at all.
i had to skip meals(lunch, dinner & breakfast the nxt day)
to actually eat a tinch at EFC picnic today.
like wtf?
subsequently, i've not been eating well this whole week or two.

EFC picnic was cool today.
we brought loadsomes of food.
all GOOD food.
very nice in fact.
:DDD
had a blast indulging in the food (lil compared to my norm)
then we talked abt lotsa stuffs.
really really random things tt i can't rmb.
HAHA.
& as usual, we laughed ALOT.
&& charades!
like finally right?
haha. it was fun!
leeyin came up with uberly brainsquashing sent.s for the other grp.
lol. & the other grp expected me to act porn with tt task?
hmm, i fret not.
there are many other ways to represent sex okayy.
hehs.

i finally realised why she'd rather go home with her friends.
maybe i felt it long ago but i just realised the prominent reason.
i second it.
i feel like crap,
like tt i'm a fking loser or what almost every end of a schday.
tt's the worst feeling i can have,
considering my character.
arrhhhhhhhhhh.
but i can't do anything.
i can't tell you,
i'm tired of always giving the first step.
& you still dare to say you know me well
when you dun even know when i'm lying.
BUT i just owe you too much.

i miss you,
miss you so bad.
i don't forget you,
oh it's so sad.
cause i rmb it clearly,
the day you slipped away,
was the day,
i found it won't be the same.

-feeling veh empty these days, cause i've lost smth veh impt
& i know it won't return for good.

&no,
its not my handphone or what,
sighs.
D:

team outing ya'll

2007-10-08T22:28:00.000-07:00

yo ppl.

had team outing today.
although the main objective wasn't met
(i think),
we still had tons of fun.
excluding the tedious waiting.

had a gd deal of alone time with lx.
(as station masters for netdance at the cathay)
lol. & boy, more than we can both ask for.
we were like waiting for cyn's grp for like 237891749872 centuries.
gosh. okayy, maybe 1& a half hours.
but still,
we were roaming arnd in the cold, all-shops-closed cathay!
wtf luh.
we were eyeing & yearning for ben&jerry's
but we couldn't get it cause we had to lie in wait for rach/hanni's team.
thank goodness leeyin came & we got to eat.
& it appeared tt they were both far away.

then, we had like so much time.
lol, we went arnd window shopping.
literally window, cause all shops were closed,
so we only could stare hard through the windows and shutters.
we got food, settled down, gobbled, browsed at gramaphone...

aft all the grps were done,
lx & i went shopping.
shop hopping- wasn't tt gd for me :/
then went to vivo, skygarden as meeting point.
then lag lag lag, went to get donuts & sweet stuffs.
then lagged arnd.

despite the excruciating waiting hours,
it was fun HAHA.
pics up next time :]

oh & when i came home just now,
i found out tt singtel's family filtering crap fking restricted my blog.
like wtf rite?
"Restricted Site
Dear User, You have either subscribed to SingNet BroadBand's Filtering Service or SingNet's Family On-Line Plans. The webpage that you are trying to access is restricted by the web filtering service. "
& it put my blog in the "ADULT" category.

like er...
not like i put a pic of a nude horny chick here rite?
i know some would love tt,
but come on luh.
this is freaking pissing,
i can't even view my blog
& i might even get accused of viewing porn!
weihao asked me to watch discovery chnnl just now,
tribal you knows.
so why not restrict them?
of all porn sites restrict my blog?
fkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
& i found out lotsa other blogs are restricted too.
wa lao,
so everyone's reading each others' blogs & i'm stuck with
this crap.

wtvr, not gonna waste time flaming it,
will just call in tmrrw.

crazy as it seems,

2007-10-05T23:06:00.000-07:00

yo homies.

i sound totally diff fr yest,
I KNOW.
haha. you might think i'm a super mood swinger.
BUT, it also shows tt i dun brood over stuffs for too long.
yijin thought me tt everything had a bright side.
haha so i found out tt even applies to kp-ing ppl.
oh yeah.

HAHA.
why am i so high today?
what enlightened me?
what made my life suddenly beam at me?

MATHS!
yes, maths.
algebra, quadratic eq.s, graphs, etc.
crazy as it seems,
i'm 100% affirmative.

but,
no, i didn't find maths totally exciting and fun.
no, i didn't develop passion for it all of a sudden.
I'M JUST HEAD OVER HEELS OF IT,
CAUSE I PASSED MY EOY MATHS.
muhahahahhahahahah xDDD

its really stressful being surrounded by pros,
norm seating,
yijin maths god.
wa lao.
reg no. seating,
dione, jiarong.
double wa laozxc.

BUT,
i'm just damn happy abt the fact tt i passed.
since so many people predicted and let's say,
wished me to fail.
(wished is not hoped, was "happy failing tgt!"/"you passed? really?")
even i thought my eoys for maths was gg.
but guess life totally dawned upon the idea of
giving me an easier way.
i wish rite? xP

i would really really like to thank:

1)my maths peer tutors- yijin, shuyinn, junming, xiaoxu.
for their patience & pro-ness.

2)my jungle tribe- haha for giving me confidence tt i wun fail & cheering with me when i found out i passed.

3)mr lee!- for being uberly patient && tt really cool 'good effort'
despite me missing 20 Q.s out for WS 4b. x]

4) ppl/tt person who wished me to fail- cause i can say "IN YOUR FACE BITCH."

yupp, this ppl are the bomb!
<3

okayy,
so just passing maths got me going on today.
:DDD
nvm bout the hiong trng & the inferior-ful specialist work.
run/swim tmrrw.
D:/ :D ?

screwed.

2007-10-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

i'm seriously messed up.

& i hate one sent. posts.
how ironic.
but i'm too bothered to even bother.

my rib cage feels as if its contracting every sec.
my heart feel like its tied down by weights.
my heart feels like fk now.
i feel like i'm being compressed into a plastic container.
i can't even breathe comfortably.

&i'm a fking coward.

2007-10-03T22:29:00.000-07:00

THANK YOU YIJIN.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
:]

estee goes extinct tmrrw.8.30am.

2007-10-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

ANNOUNCEMENT:

ESTEE CHIN IS SO DEAD MEAT TMRRW
AT 8.30AM.

in case you were wondering,
i didn't get into beta or smth.
i didn't do anything kay?
& this is NOT self-denial.
HAHA.
just tt i got sabo-ed real badly.

i still have lil time to enjoy
before my departure.
i shall live life to the fullest.
i might need to shun away fr humanity aft tmrrw.
D:

if they make me wear high socks
& gel my hair down/pin my fringe up.
i'm so gonna have suicidal thoughts man.

wtfwtfwtfwtfwtf.
i got so turned off when we all found out.
damn it luh.
i didn't even have the mood to eat rdy.
didn't eat during break,
hoping to work up an appetite for lunch b4 psl mtg.
but i got so upset/worried/confused tt i just couldn't bother.
even aft mtg i didn't wanna eat :/

i dun care,
tmrrw nerd-look anot,
i'm gonna spam hairspray.
btw, just had a haircut x]

bye world.
*tears drip down like unthreaded beads*
or wtvr you use in chinese compos.

slacking at the maximum lvl

2007-10-02T21:57:00.000-07:00

yo peeps.

we can all just scream END of EOYS!
yes, but we shan't rub it in for the sec 3s.
jiayous :]
besides, we're supposed to be ultra quiet
till we leave the block.

hmm trng as norm,
new weights.
had fun gossiping with lixuan.
haha as usual, agn.
&& we found out trng will be damn hiong fr now on.

i summarised our trng sched:
everyday is a trng day.
only thurs & sun are holidays.
lol. sounds like some kinda ad.
anws, main point here:
we're going hardcore man.
D:

okayy, on a HEAVIER note,
yes, dun expect anything to be light these days...

I SWEAR TODAY WAS ONE OF THE MOST ANNOYING DAYS
OF MY LIFE.
(at least these 14 years)
goshhh.
i got so pissed.

firstly i was really tired,
so i went to snooze.
then in the mid of a nice dream (i think),
my phone was like vibrating the hell outta my bed.
of course i got up & thought it was friends or smth.
then it was this woman,
& i bet she was a scammer.

(TOTAL CHEENA VOICE,
like those chinese listening compre tapes)
she was going "i'm fr XXX company.
would you like to come...."

i was damn sleepy you see,
so i was like "oh think you got the wrong no." (politely)
woman: 没有没有打错！
like those times ppl dun explain why you can't do smth
and just go, because YOU CAN'T!
me(annoyed): orh, 我会通知我的家人。
woman: 请问贵姓？
me(pissed): wait arh...
...laglaglag...
MOMMY ARHH!
so my mom got on the phone with this person.
then yadayadayada.
then when my mom revealed her age,
she immediately spaced out and say 那不打扰你了。

like wtf. so scam luh.
first, she doesn't allow me to sleep.
when i say you've got the wrong no.= i dun wanna talk to you.
so why insist on talking to me?
i know, my voice can do wonders but comeon.
xD
jk, erhmm i meant I WANNA SLEEP!
somemore, tt kp cheena voice.
damn, i was so pissed i resorted to reading than sleeping.

secondly.
yes, there's a sequel to this madness!
i was still annoyed while having dinner.
& i was trying to listen to some song's name
and believe me it was damn soft.
THEN... the evil baby next block
was howling her ass off luh.
not crying, it was those kinda throw tantrum fk.
& guees what, i missed the name.
imagine you're an old man listening to the 4D combi
hoping for your big break,
and have your wife starts nagging at you.
THEN YOU MISS THE COMBI.
how would you feel?

then i was talking to my mom abt blogs.
like its so rare tt i'm being so nice to even start a conver with her.
then she suddenly flared & said some illogical stuffs.
YEAH. so this proved me right once agn.
i would rather just not talk to her at all.

SOMEMORE!
ants invasion at my com table.
so while i'm blogging,
i'm like smashing ants.
the ants massacre
MUHAHAHHA.

okayy, so i hope this is an end to my veh annoying day.
tmrrw will be full force slacking!
YAYEE x]

&& i'm finally listening,
i'm going for a haircut tmrrw.
:DDD

but who said i'll snip off my fringe?

bleak, just bleak.

2007-10-01T21:55:00.000-07:00

one more paper to end this torment.
yes,
lang arts paper two.
tmrrw.
8am.
where destiny is set.
to the fullest blast.
of slacking.
hell yeah.

okayy, i'm feeling wierd now.
ran with hanni aft HCL paper 2 today.
X.X
yeah, refer to the smiley above.

reached home with a slight headache.
washed and fell unconscious on bed.
left my K5 playing and as it went on with
you keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on...
then my left cheek felt a vibe of heat,
and my eyes slowly sealed with blurring...

kayy i like napped for 3 hrs strght.
if you still call tt a nap :/
yes, estee's a lazyass sloth.
HAHA. joshua's hibernation.
okayy, random.

yeah so, i still have a lil dizzy spells
and erm my body's all heating up.
heat stroke i suppose?
must be due to the lack of exposure to sun during mugging season.
too hiong indoors rdy, not used to the UV rays anymore.

srsly,
i wanna know.
BUT i dun wanna know at the same time.
cause i'm sure i'd be happy when i get the news.
but i'll get equally miserable aft tt.
or perhaps more.
thank you friend,
maybe i can just treat you like such.

end of end of years (unofficially)

2007-09-28T22:28:00.000-07:00

yo peeps.

its been 9876620134720 centuries since i last posted.
eoys know?
i practise STRONG perseverance yeah?
-not to blog xP

i would like to cordially announce that,
~~I LOVE MYSELF~~
this marks the end of end of years,
well,
unofficially.

haha end of end of years sounds cool.
okayy, random.
so yes, we still have HCL&LA paper 2
but obviously everyone has gone into slack mode rdy.

woo, i would wierdly miss the vigorous shaking of hands,
pia-ing of notes,
frantic scribbling till the paper catches fire,
and times-up-still-writing
OF EXAMS.
ahhh, memories now.
*wipe tears*

now, let's have a recap on the paper, shall we?

langarts & hcl paper 1: in the mid of tio own & own? cause i
rushed through macbeth.
geog: gay, i didn't even know what i was writing :/
maths: when have i ever owned in maths?
science: completely tio own.
hist: only satisfying paper :]

rate estee's results:
(-5) stars.

oh, trng today.
HAHA hiong, i know.
aft abs stuffs, we were like bitching abt ___s.
THE WHOLE TEAM. haha
& we were laughing like siao.
if you happen to walk pass the gym,
it would be like...
silence.... HAHAHHAHAHA
silence... HAHAHHAHAHA
silence... HAHHAHAHAHA
& so on...
you would have thought ppl were filming gao xiao xing dong or wad.

played netball aft tt.
my god, doub imaging while playing,
cause of the fever i got fr my mom.
her supremely hygienic practices.

awaiting for the official cease of EOYs.
then it'd be partying, shopping, netball, class, team, gambling(strip poker?)...

pop balloons, blast the stereo, who would care?
~~all in the name of boredom.~~
all for stress relieving.
hell yeah.

gimme more

2007-09-17T22:54:00.000-07:00

heyy ppl.

sat was hsk.
pretty cool i must say.
first time listening's through PA system.
HAHA. make us feel so impt & official!
xDDD

PLUS,
there was a great deal of zzzZZZ-ing time
for EACH section.
yayee.
i like hibernated for awhile
to get energy for the nxt section.

before the paper started,
they were playing random music.
LOL. veh classical.
there was this song...
when it played,
ching yee and i were like wtf?
lols. yeah. there was this cool emo song too.
hmm, stared outta the window & recalled stuffs.
wierd, i know.

aft tt,
went to vivo to get gifts :DDD
was kinda fun cause its been like
omgzxczxcly long ago, the last time i vivo-ed.

today is cool.
NO tamil luhh. lol.
then its like everyone left hanging.
no, we're not complaining AT ALL.
x]

art,
mindmapping.
extremely arty eh?
and brainstorming too.
god, i KNOW wires ain't fun.
not one bit.
topic: taking risks.
"it is taking a risk not to hand in anything.
there you have it."
full marks xDDD

swimming was COOL.
it's been quite long since i swam.
keep having gastric and my legs' wounds.
finally, oh finally i can swim once more.
REJOICE. x]
we learnt back stroke
to equip us for the test.

haha recycle goggles with shuyinn :]
like she's one, i'm two.
one swims across first. (shuyinn with goggles)
then aft tt before the coach says go for us,
she throws it back for me.
lol. my cid mate kayy.

then aft lessons,
ching yee taught me breast stroke and survival back stroke.
it was great fun with the guys too.
weichen & felix can star in jaws rdy.
*sinister music and there goes your leg*
-.-

murder was the case & they blamed me.

2007-09-14T23:25:00.000-07:00

heyy ppl.

today was generally funny.
HAHA esp for speech & drama.

maths burnt my brain today.
i was totally lost for brain cells aft the Ws.s

speech & drama...
we did our own story planning rdy.
like finally rite?
hmm, then my grp was a lil quiet,
but we had our moments. lols.
(mother, felix, chingyee, cheryl, dione and me)

characters with wierd/horny surnames/names.
HAHA eg. dickson and gay&jay. AND AND..
adding in a lil macbeth; XXX cumberland.
xDDD

the funny part was
when the other half of the class came back with news.
jiahao's nose bled aft being exposed to obscenity.
LOL. i don't blame him tho.
hahahahhaha

& miraculously,
i managed to clear EVERTHING under my/yijin's desk,
today! ALL in just one day.
haha. zhai bo? xP
of course with the help of 2L'ers :]
haha moon helped keep my HE stuffs in his locker,
yijin helped me bring home some books,
bestfriend held all my hand-held books.
thankyou tonssss!!! :DDD
awww, my bag has stretch marks fr all the books lifting.
stretch marks...

weights aft sch.
was kinda fun altho many were missing.
hmm we choreographed a dance.
LOL. its lame.
but we had great fun x]
haha, Dance Net.

worn out.

2007-09-13T22:57:00.000-07:00

heyy ppl.

as i've expected yest,
my legs were -.- today.
okayy, i couldn't even feel them.

hmm,
today's kinda typical.
nth much to memo-sise.

& guess what?
i didn't know teaching was so leng leng.
same as how i observed how leng leng a grp leader can actually be.
fascinating.
life experiences arhh.
*widen -.- eyes*

teaching is like wow.
damn simple.
just self study, aye okayyy.
cannot teach de.
don't you agree how beginners teaching can be?
woah claps.
it comes so naturally and easily,
as natural as how i'm sarcastic in nature.

okayy dropping tt,
CID was pretty hilarious.
we did the voice recording.
HAHA it was like omgzxczxcly funny.
aft recording, i was like..
shuyinn play! i wanna laugh.
HAHA.

maths remedial was cool.
or would you prefer peer tutoring?
haha went there for ~~fun~~extra practice.
cause i taiko pass tt recent test de.
tks for the patience haha
(mother/sis, laoma, shuyinn)

HAHA mr lee was really awesome :]
he gave us this packet of sweets
and he was like..
*drop packet infront of us*
CHI!
hahahaha. yayee :DDD
& when i handed up the practise pp,
he said i needed more practise
but i managed to get the answers xDDD
HEHS. good effort rmb?
but this time, i didn't leave out 20 Q.s lols.

then went down to eat with hungry gang.
haha then sat down to gossip LOL.
(junhao, yijin, cheryl, weichen, junming & me)
then junhao and weichen tortured a siu mai.
gross condition.
had good laughs with jungle tribe too x]

my god,
junhao & his SAW 4.
people,
stop giving him ideas & characters to torture.

sighs

2007-09-12T23:11:00.000-07:00

heyy ppl.

yesterday was du diao.
i just felt really really sian.
aft trng was bball fun.
but everyone was in the tired mood.
hanni was in the mugging mood. -.-
IF YOU CALL TT MUGGING.
hmm so lagged awhile,
then went to play bball.

my heel still stung,
walked in the game.
& i feel no vibe whatsoever to attack or defend.
D:

today:
was much better than yest.
killer morning run.
altho it was only 8 rounds,
i could feel the after effects.
NO, i can feel it right now.

wtf,
i'll have knee probs tmrrw for sure.
& i can hardly walk today aft the run.

you know what,
i've developed a really wierd habit/interest.
nono, not porn if you were pondering.
it's staying back during break to just do wtvr there is to do.
or just slack in class.
like damn quiet like tt.
manzxczxc, i'm going zibi mode soon.
arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hmm, altho i'd get gastric
but it still seems less taxing.

going home was a big woop.
i feel like hopeless crap.
this is the first time i just let ppl off aft kp-ing me.
i was lost for words/actions.
srsly, not even a middle finger or wad.
i just stun diao.
not with the ppl,
but with my own reaction.
come on, you know my style,
tt was so not chin le estee back there.
i dunno which hopeless arsehole tt was.
sighs.

i think i'm srsly tripping.

i wanna, no gotta train tmrrw.

2007-09-10T22:04:00.000-07:00

heyy ppl.

i just thought of an idea.
hmm more like a solution.
cause i'm lazy to blog abt wm.
so i decided to use pics to just illustrate the whole trip.
hmm but not in this post.
so.. get rdy to be spammed with photos
soon. x]

today was mundane.
HAHA first day mahh.
but was quite okayy luh.

hmm morning,
ching & i were like pia-ing luhh.
then in the end...
not today. -.-
we were like wtf.
almost gave me a heart attack can.

hmm, & lotsa ppl cut their hair.
okay, tt was like superbly random.
xP

swimming was...
hmm :/
looked quite fun.
but my heel's not okayy yet.
long story, just know tt it hurts. HAHA
okayy, & none of 2L girls in beginners were in the pool.
HAHA so legal gathering of ching(intermediate), shuyinn, chenyu & me.
haha happy gossipping man.

like omfg,
your screeches for attention.
save it for ~~him~~your mother luhh horr.

yayee tmrrw :DDD
& there's trng.
can't wait!
<33333333333

oops. tmrrw's nineeleven rite?
but its still really special :]

o_O

2007-09-08T23:58:00.000-07:00

my god!!!!!

heyy ppl.

its been like 21837897432 years since i posted.
gosh gosh gosh.
i feel so outdated.
hell yeah.

okayy,
i really wanna update on wm.
I REALLY DO.

but i've not got enough time to do tt.
just too much stuffs to brag on.
haha LOTS LOTS LOTS.
maybe i can give a lil sneak preview.
till i've got the time in my hands
for the realfulllengthuncuthardcore stuffs.
hehs. xD

long night phone calls,
rapes on bus,
the great curtain hide,
gambling lord,
stripping poker
& many more.

non-wm stuffs for now,
on the 5th when we reached sg:
got off our beloved bus.
JE popular, 9.43pm.
precision ppl, precision.
kayy, then i overheard.
haha i prefer not to say eavesdropped.
this guy was like telling his buddy,
"malaysians."

like wtf?
DO I FREAKING LOOK LIKE A MALAYSIAN TO YOU?
do we all look like malaysians?
manzxczxc
somemore, i had my samurai hairstyle.
LOL.
then hanni was like
no, japenese.
x]

6th:
caught 5 nations.
cool.
but was in wrong attire.

coz we played aft tt (like always)

hmm despite my height

i still dun fancy EXTREMELY tall players.

like BAM! 200++cm. tsk tsk.

7th:
5 nations agn :]

sg ownage can.

haha x]

haiz just can't stand some gestures fr sl.

goddamned rude and rough.

then they obstruct kenna we supporters

BOO, wa lao.. etc.

haha gang them.

lx had nightmares.

then took pics with sg players :DDD

WITH a phone.

yours truly's phone.

tyty.

haha with my tudi as phone guard.

HEHS. then take liao damn paisehh

cause halfway ...

... memory full.

zhu yi zhuyi! ly and tudi

ms loo, official seh.

haha erhm erhm. hoching!

HAHA rachel song bo?

off for three days.

2007-09-02T18:48:00.000-07:00

heyy ppl.

WMWMWMWMWM tmrrw!
woohoo!
good quality time with my looney luantics
x]

sadly, i'll be off for three entire days.
almost, haha so i won't blog.
but i'd probably blog right when i come back.
provided i'm not all tired out.

hmm packed rdy!
*wipe tears*
proud :DDD
butbut... others like finished packing yest.

i think i'm gonna sleep at 9.30pm today!
i noe, like wtf right?
BUT i'm scared i can't make the 0630 cut.
it's been like hell when since i slept tt inhumanly early?
Pri 4?

i'll try to finish up all my HW today too.
so when i return,
it'd be only
revisions, 5 nations, trng, bbq, town & me.

omfg,
i can't believe i'm getting so flared up abt some bitch
JUST BEFORE WM!
argggghhhhhh
the more i find out,
the more i wanna just blast all my anger out.

i can't seem to flame,
cause i'm just too disappointed.

i finally understand how i'm feeling now.
its not jealousy,
its feeling outta place.
like finding out smth fking annoying
& you wanna do smth
like dee siao-ing tt person or wtvr.
but you can't.
cause it seems like it doesn't concern you
& you are in no position to do anything
BUT the direct victim is YOU.

damn,
i feel like fk now.
i'm really pissed.
P to the I to the S to the SED.
PISSEEEEEEEEEDDDDDD
like fk i tell you.

all caught up in jealousy's chokehold.

2007-09-01T18:32:00.000-07:00

heyy ppl.

yest was teachers' day.
didn't post abt it cause i was too tired.
i like napped for 3 hours straight?
hmm, not napped, its coma-ed.
lols.

kayy yest was kinda boring tho.
but like lotsa stuffs happenned.
i really opened my eyes wider to how ppl can really be.
i didn't noe tt ppl could be so fked up to tt extent.
hmm

well, on a lighter note.
chatting with PSLs was fun :]
& maybe all the koala-ing with lixuan.
hmm others were just wtf.

the more i think abt it,
the more i get pissed.
as in i'll recall all the other stuffs.
i srsly wanna shout everything out.
i just wanna go right to their/her face
& shout fk off.
i really wanna slam stuff on the wall.
i feel veh appealed to ruin her/their life.
i wanna dee siao them ALL.
BUT I CAN'T.

the anger,
the hatred,
the doubt,
the confusion,
the fake smiles,
the burning feeling.
its all bottled up in me.

AND all i can resort to are tears.

hands off whore.

yawn my jaws out.

2007-08-30T23:58:00.000-07:00

heyy ppl.

end of a very very stressful day.
woohoo.
okayy i've no energy to get high rdy.
i've been sleeping at like 2am everyday for these 2 weeks?
esp this week.
late night pia-ing & lil food intake.
i skip lotsa meals.
no time for food, how ironic.
nvm.

got back quite alot of stuffs back.
progress report (like finally),
maths test.
thought i would fail both
but hmmm... passed!
i was damn happy,
but yet agn.. no energy to do so.

aft sch,
"there is a lightning risk..."
HAHA so no shooter's trng.
went to clarke quay with leeyin to get cher's day stuffs.
the GOBI thing looked good.
but but, decided to get doughnuts at city hall.
then aft tt, gazing at the endless 2hrs(?) queue,
decided to art friend at taka.
HAHA

like omfg,
its superultraomgzxcmegaultimateextremely...
STRESSFUL!
we really couldn't think of anything luhh.
NOTHING.
then settled outside art friend to do up the prez.
so team, if you guys think its fuggly,
srry luhh. not picasso luhh, netballers nia.
we tried our best yeah, leeyin?

leeyin,
oh & tks for guiding me step by step through the journey.
LOL.
dun needa be so stressed de luh,
we have each other to think anything out.
besides, its ONLY cher's day.
imagine other events!
dun waste so many brain cells & nerve cells!
:DDD

wtf.
tmrrw 6.50am shooter's trng.
great, just great.
pfft. & i thought i could have a decent rest for once.
stop dreaming estee,
life's not abt unicorns, cherubim
and tt pot of gold at the end a rainbow.

omfg, there's trng aft celebs too.
weights.
i dun like to see kp ppl when i train.
i shall shut my eyes tight ><
if i shall fail to eliminate tt sight,
i'll prepare a plastic bag beside me.
just in case of any discomfort.
xP

DEAD FISH.

2007-08-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

what's install for tmrrw?

chem prac test,
macbeth test right aft.
hand in jian bao (chim chim one),
3 geog assignments. (1-2 graded)
norm HWs.

like wtf?
& shooters have trng?
like double wtf.

manzxczxc,
& i was feeling feverish today
so skipped speed trng in the morning.
i almost died in lessons.
my head was like sosososo heavy.
fever go away & nv come another day.
please.

i'm as dead as a dead fish.
X.X

please, i've got enough to stress over.
so quit bitching at me.
oh,
comparing me to some reknown sch ppl
makes me feel soooo much better.
hmm boosts self esteem?
like am i not screwed enough?
maybe if you
shut your fking mouth,
i would concentrate better.
bitch.

wooned.

2007-08-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

heyy ppl.

I ONLY LIKED CID TODAY.
CAUSE SHUYINN & I LAUGHED OUR ASSES OFF.
CAUSE YUEJUN'S GRP JUST CRACKS US UP.
CAUSE WE HAVE NTH BETTER TO DO THAN LAUGH.
CAUSE I LACK LAUGHTER.
CAUSE I NEEDA LAUGH LIKE MAD ONCE IN A WHILE.

DAMN,
SHUYINN'S NOT GOING FOR CID THIS THURS.
CAUSE SHE HAS A COMPETITION.
CRIES. I'LL MISS YOU SHUYINN.
DAMN, THOSE JOKERS.
YOU'LL CATCH ME IN THE SICK BAY THEN.
I'VE GOT A DATE WITH GASTRIC.

bye.

jealousy's chokehold.

2007-08-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

life's such a bitch.
i felt like fk today.

at least i've got you.
& maybe every other person.
but sometimes,
i just lose faith in everything.
i can't trust myself anymore.

i love you x 129087294zxcx
cause i only feel my existence with you.
i still feel safe in your arms.
& only yours.

jealousy's chokehold.
are the tattooed mistakes gonna fade over time?

sighs

2007-08-25T23:44:00.000-07:00

heyy ppl.

today was pretty much a home day for me.
AGAIN.
cause i skipped enrichment.
my back's not okayy fr yest.
shan dao yao, signs of old age.
*cheers, jumps & runs arnd like a maniac*
srry, was trying to rejuvenate myself.
better not, might just shan dao yao agn...

hmm maybe even SK II or wtvr can't bring me to life.
i feel foul.
if tt's an actual feeling.
just like a gush of wierdness.
maybe a lil more of feeling pissed.

IF I DON'T WANNA GO,
YOU CAN'T FORCE ME.
NEED A REASON?
WELL, MAYBE I'VE REALLY GOT TO SPELL IT OUT.
CAUSE I DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR FACE.
WTVR, LET ME FAIL.
I RESPECT MY OWN CHERS
HOWEVER THEY TEACH.
I STAND BY TT LOYALTY.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
I'M NOT EVEN ASSOCIATED TO YOU IN ANY WAY.
AT LEAST NOT ACADEMICALLY.
I DON'T LET PPL, WHO PISS ME OFF, OFF TT EASILY.
I RMB WHAT YOU'VE DONE BEFORE.
EVERYTHING.
KAY, KP MY DEAREST, KP ME, KP MY FRIENDS
& WHAT NOT.
JUST FK OFF BEFORE I GET SOMEONE TO HELP YOU.
PLEASE. TSK

yes, i admit i'm stubborn.
but if there's one rule i stand for in life,
it'd be 义气.
be nice, i'd be great.
piss me off, i'll make you pay.
i rmb deeds distinctly.
& i admit i hold grudges.

frowns.

2007-08-24T23:55:00.000-07:00

heyy ppl.

miss blogger agn!
2 days w/o posting D:
*embrace monitor*

today was a blendeddrink day.
not tt there was everlasting supply of shakes/juices
i was: pissed. disappointed. happy. wtvr.
i tried really hard, but nth came. nvm...

okayy,
" unsex me here,"
&&
"Come to my woman's breasts,"
made my day.
LOL.

cause loo loo was lady macbeth.
& towards tt horny part,
he used an extremely sexxayy voice.
& it was just hilarious for him to say those stuffs.
HAHA & his "come to.. "
was like.. "cum to..."
lols. xDDD

you must be pointing fingers
saying "woah gam sick luhh, go for these porn stuffs."
*widen arldy widened eyes*
come on,
you're attracted by those phrases too can.
it's the highlight of macbeth man!
admit it,
you agree with me x]

there's no flipside.

2007-08-21T23:58:00.000-07:00

today's not any better.
not at all.
my eyes seriously sting,
real bad.

today's the peak of this emo-span.
i really just wanna lie on the grass
and have a blackout.
& maybe not ever have to lift my eyelids agn.

morning,
emo drawing.
daggers coming back & forth at a heart.
the pain is not spoken of.
it sustains in the chambers of the beating muscle.
slowly piercing the owner.

CID was bad.
since there wasn't much to do,
i stoned lots.
times not kp-ing with shuyinn= stoning.
tears were on the tip of my lashes.
but i held on to them.
it was literally having to
use super glue to hold your heart from shattering
and contract every muscle to control my tears.

aft CID was much worst.
like hell of a miserable.
screwed.
fking midget going
OH, cover your ankle or wad lan.
like get a life.
i shan't elaborate too much.
cause i dun give a fk.

all of a sudden i just got this surge of anger.
i totally removed my shoes & socks
& walked back to class barefooted-ly.
why? not happy arh mf?
i felt like gandhi luhh..
xP
maybe less bald, less dark & less skinny.
was like the salt march or what, just minus-ing the salt.

the non-violent thing was not applicable.
coz when i reached my classrm,
i rammed my shoes & socks on the floor.
i was pissed, rmb?
then when 2L'ers asked abt stuffs..
i felt tt i couldn't carry myself anymore.
i broke down.
its like a gazillion emo cells
trying to bust outta a compressed bottle.
& the prisoners filed at the bars so much,
it finally gave way.

when i read through the letter,
it seriously blurred my eyes.
waterfallwaterfallwaterfall

sighs. i really have no mood to do anything else.
i actually had no mood to train.
but whattheheck.
trained to my grave
with gastric & knee pain.
oh well, i still owe everyone two suicides.

the moment of dispeakable decision-making.
a very painful decision to make indeed.
i guess i chose the right path. just maybe.

& thanks to those who made me laugh/smile/lalala today.
I LOVE YOU GUYS LOADS.
& yes, they were real.
real smiles, real laughter, real LALALA.
but the tears were the awesomest truth.

& tears flood this awful day;

FYI. i don't need YOU or ANYone to direct me to do ANYthing in MY life.
stop thinking you're significant to me in any way.
you're not. so when i say i don't want to do something,
you better shut your fking hole.
cause i hate ppl who think they give good advice when they force me to feel sorry
and 'persuade' me in the most mfking way.
HELLO, i'm not retarded. I control & steer my own life.
TYVM.

&& IF you dare to spread this, wtvr it is. i'll make sure you cry right in front of my face,
since you like talking abt tears so much.
fk off.

never been better.

2007-08-20T21:15:00.000-07:00

today's just awful.
awful beyond awful.
i just can't get over myself.

people hate emo-kids who get emo all of a sudden.
sudden streak of emo w/o reason know?
well guess what?
i get emo because of people, events.
people; namely fkers, myself & did i mention fkers?
so if you wanna pin me up as a emo bastard,
wtvr. i'm not in the mood to entertain to your crap.

i was really sad/confused/pissed/etc. today.
mood= 128370820183078zxczxc BAD.

pissed cause tt ASEAN pon class thingy
was a major rip off.
major with a capital M.
like there wasn't any fking kinda news/info
then we had to wait wait wait.
left us hanging in mid-air know?
moreover i was like really unhappy since yesterday.
poor poor job, lag like fk.
if anyone is offended by my comments,
i don't care kay? wtf
no time, no effort, no desire.
like freak, waiting all day, and nth came.
would you be pissed then?

i'm sorry if i really hurt your feelings.
maybe ppl will just think tt i don't care or wtvr.
if i don't care would i be here feeling so screwed?
HAH. sighs...

i wonder how many smiles i've got to fake?
i tried, i tried so damn hard
to smile so much today.
hoping to feel a real smile.
but guess what?
they were all superficial.
every one of them.
i don't wanna keep trying to find a smile.
cause mine's just a twitch of my cheeks.

it hurts so much going home.
i had to run, sprint just pass the places fast.
if i stopped, the memories linger.

when i see the bridge, i wanted to cry.
i knew i had to climb right up real fast & jump right off.
maybe just too fast.
strained my knee but i don't care.
when i look at the precarious slope,
i just wanna fly myself up real fast.
when i reached the blocks,
i couldn't help but falther to my fear.
no matter how much i run away these flashbacks,
they catch my sleeve and repel me back into their quilt.
cause everything around me,
reminds me of you.

i don't want tears to be my staple.
before the price of tissue goes up.
i didn't brush you off on purpose,
& i didn't want to.
i just don't have the words.

my hand is bleeding like omfg.
but i can't feel the pain.
i'm too overwhelmed by myself.
& my eyes hurt more from all tt tearing.

many thanks to 2L'ers for caring so much :]
esp. yijin! for checking up on me always. tks <3
farrah! crapping all the way home with me <3
others (like brian) who told me porn stuffs <3

& the hardest part of living
is just taking breaths to stay.
But I guess,
that I can live without you
but without you I'll be miserable at best.

:/

2007-08-19T21:55:00.000-07:00

heyy ppl.

today is like... fking boring.
other than watching badminton on tv,
it's like almost com & me the whole day.

& my cable tv got burnt yesterday.
so no tv for like.. an entire day!
no tv=no life!
but they finally came to fix it today.

okayy if you say this post is totally mundane,
i agree okayy?
but i'm just recounting life.
which is mundane!

hmm,
those expecting a romantic poem/song,
(i dun do these stuffs, you know it.)
or an emo lovesick writing,
sorry for coming here to shatter your dreams.
*I GIVE YOU A COMFORTING PAT ON THE BACK*

hey friend,
sorry but i can't do it.
cause i'm a whimp.
i'm scared.
but you're so trusting,
& i love you for that alright?

maybe you wanted tt last sent since 5 mths ago
& maybe its no longer valid...
but i still love you kay?

now, estee's dead.
so no point reviving her.
let her sink herself.
she's still got the voices in her head.

tension rised right into my brain,
memories flashed right through up my head,
emotions came out of my heart,
and tears just came right bursting out.
it's fine.